Okay... I'm going to overshare here for just a minute. I got a spray tan today. And it was GLORIOUS. I haven't had one for almost a year and I honestly forgot how much I love being fake tan (yup. There is something wrong with that statement. I'm able to acknowledge it). BUT, do you know how much better everyone looks with a tan? Ridiculously better. And thinner. Ridiculously thinner. It's all an illusion you say? Whatever. It's a GREAT illusion.
The awkward part of a spray tan? Being TOTALLY NAKED in front of the lady who is all up in your business. You are literally doing yoga poses in front of this person in your birthday suit. That's a real thing. It happened today. And Suzanne from Nordstrom Spa had a totally normal conversation with me about bridesmaids dresses while making sure that the tan was even across my booty. Hmmm. Yeah. That happened.
But Danielle, why do you want a spray tan? Don't you want to embrace the pastey white that is a Seattle girl in late September? No. No I don't. I am going to California tomorrow to be a bridesmaid in my friend Diana's wedding. Diana has been my friend since we were 3' tall (not kidding - I have the pictures to prove it). First grade. FIRST grade. So... why the spray tan? Because everyone else in this wedding is from CA. And is tan. And I'm from Seattle. Do I need to spell it out or do you get it now?
And before you crack any jokes... no. This is not what I look like.
|But I do know people who looked like this in college. I won't name any names... but you all know who I'm talking about.|