Hawaii... Part 3 (And 4. And Maybe 5)

Well, my Hawaii adventure is officially over.  I seriously think I'm having withdrawals from the beach and the sunshine.  And I'm already agonizing over losing my tan.

Anyways...

Part 3: No one told me to bring long johns.  

What they should really put in the Big Island guidebook is that you probably won't see any actual lava.  Don't get me wrong... seeing the glow of lava at night was pretty darn cool.  But besides the illusion of lava, we really didn't see anything but rocks.  A lot of rocks.  So. Many. Rocks.

Walking the lava rock wasteland.

The other thing that should be in the guidebook?  How bloody, freaking cold it was on the volcano side of the mountain.  At least we brought sweatshirts and wore yoga pants.  It could have been worse - I saw people grossly unprepared.  That gift shop must make a killing off of sweatshirt sales.  It's probably the only place in all of Hawaii that sells more sweatshirts than anything else.

We saw almost every major volcano site on the Big Island.  We even saw where the lava flowed into the transfer station. For those of you who don't know what a transfer station is - it's a dump.  We saw hardened lava at the dump.  That's not in the guidebook either.  

Bucket List Item #394: See a volcano.  

Check.  

Part 4: We would have been terrible Vikings.  

Let's just get back to the fact that the ocean is terrifying.  The creatures that swim in the ocean are ginormous and sneak up on you.  I'm prepared to handle the predators of land - I can hear a bear crashing through the woods a mile away (okay... that may be a little exaggeration) but you get the idea.  Sharks?  Those suckers sneak up on you.  Urchins?  They just sit there like silent jagged rocks.  Manta rays?  Don't even get me started... 

While my first snorkeling experience didn't exactly go swimmingly (pun intended), my second was much better.  We look a sea kayak tour that included some snorkel time -  and after a serious internal battle (one in which my body was pretty adamant about remaining in the kayak and my brain was saying 'stop being a baby'), I jumped out of the kayak and snorkeled around a bit.  Actually... it went something more like this: put feet over edge of kayak. Pull them back in. Get yelled at by Paige for being a weenie.  Put feet back out - touch them to the water and try not to think of the story of the guy having his legs bitten off by a shark out of a kayak (thanks for that, Maui guy).  Fling self into water (yup... just as graceful as it sounds).  Immediately try to curl up into a floating version of the fetal position.  Realize I'll drown if I don't swim.  Tentatively swim.  Finally... snorkel.  I definitely never let the boat get more than 20 feet away from me.  But I did it.  And I didn't cry.  

Proof that I was, at one point, totally submerged in the ocean.
And not because I was drowning.  Two thumbs up!

Sea kayaking on the other hand was something COMPLETELY different than what I've gotten used to doing around here.  This was for several reasons:  

1. There are waves.
2. There is seasickness.  
3. There are shadows under the water that you are convinced are manta rays (and come on, at least one of them must have been something slightly more terrifying than a rock). 
4. We were terrible at rowing in tandem.  

Oh well... you can't be good at everything. 

When no one else is on the water to take your picture - selfies become your only option. 

We're in a sea cave. (If you sing it to the tune of 'I'm On A Boat', it gets way more exciting) 

Things we learned while on our kayaking adventure?
We would have made terrible vikings.
 Rowing in tandem?  Not our thing. 

Hawaii... Part 2 (Or... How I Puked in a Hawaii Costco Parking Lot)

I realized as I typed 'Part 2' that there may be many parts to this series... I'll be like the never ending Fast and the Furious franchise that is already up to like 18 or something mind-boggling like that. Although I legitimately would like to see the newest edition to the franchise - mostly as a tribute to  Paul Walker, who I had a gigantic crush on after the first movie - which I saw at least 5 times in the movie theater and totally fan-girled out over the cars at Universal Studios when I was a senior in high school. I almost wish I had access to those pictures just so I could share the total dorkiness that was me at 18... almost.

Anyways... back around to Hawaii...

Hawaii is still beautiful and I am still a shade of cherry tomato red.  Apparently my ability to rock a tan abandoned me when I became a Seattle resident. Fingers crossed that the latest in my battle with the glowing orb in the sky is a tan tomorrow.

PBR smells like college.

In other news... I SNORKELED!!!  And I didn't drown, cry, or freak out.  Okay... maybe I freaked out a little bit.  But the lifeguard didn't have to swim out to get me - so we're going to go ahead and call it a win.  I'll be the first to admit that I didn't love the general snorkeling experience.  There's something unnatural about breathing through a plastic tube with your face in the water.  My depth perception was all out of whack and so fish that were 20 feet away looked like they were right in my face - it's freaky.  When I saw a sea urchin that was no less than 12inches across, I was done.

So while yesterday started with some innocent snorkeling - it ended with a night out on the town.  For those of you who are familiar with my schedule - you are aware that generally my bedtime is early.  If I'm up til 10, I start to get concerned that I'll be all yawn-y the next day.  And I wish I could say that this only applies to 'school nights' but it doesn't.  It's all the time.  I like bed.  And sleeping.  It's a thing.  8 hours of sleep and I are a match made in heaven.  

Let's just say that I didn't get 8 hours of sleep yesterday.  I probably didn't even get 4.

We shut down the bar.  We made friends with locals.  We convinced a guy who wouldn't go away that we were a lesbian couple here for our wedding (to which he still didn't get the hint and hung around telling us how beautiful our love was and getting teary eyed over the fact that he isn't married. True story.).  We played giant Jenga.  We drank all the beers.

Today we went to one of the beautiful white sand beaches near Kona. (What I have learned is that Hawaii is the newest of the Hawaiian Islands and is full of lava.  Most of the beaches are really rocky because the rocks haven't broken down over hundreds of years into sand.  Just a quick knowledge bomb for you.) And I woke up this morning feeling like I had been hit by a Mack Truck.  Apparently 72 IPAs and two Gilligan's Girl coconut cocktails will do that to you.

So a little known fact about me is that I get terribly motion sick - the back seat of cars, rides at amusement parks, probably boats on the ocean - all of them make me want to hurl.  Well.  Today I did.  In the parking lot of Costco.  Awesome.  Vacation high point.  But, like Paige pointed out, at least it wasn't in the parking lot of a Walmart.  Touché.

Hawaii... Part 1

First off, I know that I've been a terrible blogger for the last year.  I've had a lot of personal things going on that have made it hard for me to be collected and put my thoughts down on paper and definitely, I have not been funny.  So... moving on. 

Hawaii!!!  The land of secret beaches in the middle of lava flows. 

I have been talking with one of my best friends for at least two years about taking a vacation somewhere - we've talked about London and Paris, all over the United States, and finally, Hawaii.  Paige is one of my sorority sisters from college and we are very much like two peas in a pod - minus that she carries a gun for work and I'm typically accessorizing the crap out of myself.  Well... she turned 30 this year, and I never took a 30th birthday trip - so we decided to make Kona, Hawaii, our big trip.  It's perfect - her family has a condo here and so basically all we had to do was get here.  Perfect.

She brought me a lei at the airport!  HAWAII!!!!

I've never been to Hawaii.  Growing up, our family vacations consisted of wherever we could go in the camper (i.e. NOT Hawaii).  I did get to spend a lot of time camping on a beach in Mexico - something that most people will never get to do (namely because now people get beheaded for even stepping foot in parts of Mexico).

Even growing up in California, I was never much of a beach kid.  I can't remember ever spending much time there (with the exception of Mexico).  I'm sure we went, but I just can't really remember it.  I have a vague memory of camping near the beach with my parents and my cousin and it being cold and rainy the entire time.  That being said - this could just be some dream I had once and it never actually happened.

Moral of the story?  I haven't spent much time in the ocean.  One time, in Mexico, a kid camping near us stepped on a sea urchin and impaled himself with no less than 70 quills in his foot (that's why you wear water shoes kids!).  It led to my first child-sized anxiety attack - in a less than ideal location - a boogie board in the middle of a deep tide pool.  There's some debate in my family about what happened next - but the general consensus is that I screamed my head off until my mom crawled out on the rocks and rescued me (thanks Mom).  I was 8. Add in the discovery of movies like Jaws and the ocean has been ruined for me since.

I am now 31 and am generally consider myself to be relatively tough. Well... tell that to the sea turtle who scared the shit out of me yesterday.  (And yes, he was 20 yards away - something I didn't know when Paige said 'Oh look - a sea turtle!')  Here's the thing about the ocean:  it is TERRIFYING.  For those of you who think sharks are the only scary things out there - you'd be wrong.  I have discovered my new greatest fear: manta rays (no - not manatees - I've conquered that fear - or at least laid it to wait until my next Florida or Puerto Rico trip).

See.  Terrifying.  And no, I didn't take this picture.  I will never in this lifetime be that close to one of these sea monsters. 

Manta rays are like the giant bats of the sea (and I don't particularly love the bats of land either) and here in Hawaii, they grow to a wingspan of something like 12 feet (sometimes bigger).  12 feet.  12 FEET.  We saw one at a distance yesterday - I mean a LONG distance, like 100 yards - and while it was beautiful, it also made my stomach jump into my throat.  People do night scuba diving with these creatures here and let them swim all around them - they are attracted to the flashlights.  Hell to the no.  Those people be crazy.

I'm looking forward to trying snorkeling (yes, I'm 31 and haven't snorkeled since I was probably 8) but I'm also terrified that I'll have a full fledged freakout in the water.  Water creatures are squirrely and the current adds to the mystery of where they are going.  On top of that, I'm not a super great swimmer - I can swim to save my life and the life of someone who is drowning - but besides that - not really great.  I didn't grow up swimming... that's not a thing we did in Montana a lot.  Floating the river?  Yes.  Jumping off the bridge into the river?  Yes.  Swimming?  No.

Turns out that I'm much better with scary land animals.  Maybe it's because we're on the same playing field.  When I get into the water, I very much feel how a fish out of water must feel.  I have been raised to know how to handle running into a bear in the woods - but put me in the water with a sea turtle and I have no idea what to do.  And before you say it, those suckers bite - I've seen it on NatGeoWild.

So... fingers crossed for my impending snorkeling experience.  I've borrowed an underwater camera so I can chronicle the entire experience - complete with scared face underwater selfies. Maybe I'll even get a picture or two of fishies.

I should be off - Hawaii is a land where everyone gets up at the crack of dawn and sitting out here on the lanai (can I please start calling my patio that?),  I'm pretty sure I just saw a small child out jogging with her parents. That probably means its time to get my butt in gear. Unfortunately, no one that I'm staying with understands the importance of coffee like I do.  At least Paige knows that I'm much more amenable to life in general after a cup of coffee. That's the joy of having a friend for 10+ years.

But First, Coffee...

When I tell people that I coach CrossFit at 5:30 in the morning, I get a whole range of appalled faces staring back at me - generally followed by the 'how do you do that?!' question.  Coffee, people.  So. Much. Coffee.

But lately, when I've been waking up (at 4:30am) - I've been noticing that there are several distinct stages to the wake up process.  

Stage 1)  Denial.  

Is that my alarm clock?!  There is absolutely no way that it is already 4:30.  I just barely fell asleep.  

Stage 2)  Snooze.  

9 minutes more sleep will make my life better.  Just 9 more minutes.  

Stage 1)  Denial.  Round 2.  

Is that my alarm clock?!?!  No way it's been 9 minutes.  

Stage 2)  Snooze.  Round 2.  

9 more minutes.  I just need 9. More. Minutes. 

Stage 3)  Acceptance.  

Okay.  No more snoozing.  Must get up.  But at least there's coffee. 

Stage 4)  Hope.  

Wait.  Maybe class is cancelled.  I should check my email.  Maybe no one is signed up for our most popular class of the day.

Stage 5)  Resignation.  Round 2.  

Of course class isn't cancelled.  Okay.  Time to get up.  Must get coffee.

Stage 6)  Annoyance.

Dog crawls into warm spot in the bed.  I feed you AND pick up your poop - you should at least be up when I am up.

Stage 7)  Anger.  

Where is my sports bra?!  Why do I only have one sock?! Why didn't I get organized last night?! It's so much easier when I'm organized.  It's like I'm new.

Stage 8)  First sip of coffee.  

I officially feel sorry for people who don't drink coffee. This is amazing.

Stage 9)  Ready to roll.  

10 minutes, one cup of coffee, a giant to-go cup and some mascara.  Let's do this.

Stage 10)  Caffeinated enough to annoy the crap out of my athletes.  

Winning!

That, my friends, is how you get a functional CrossFit coach at 5:30 in the morning.

My Next 30 Years

Today is the last day of my 20s.  Holy crap.  Some things just sneak up on you - and 30 was one of those things.  

There were many things that I thought I'd have figured out by 30.  I thought I'd be married, I thought I'd be well on my way to kids, I thought I'd be well established in my career.  But it's like they say 'Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans'.  Seriously.  Nothing in my life is as I thought it would be on the eve of turning 30.  Even though I'm not where I thought I'd be, it doesn't mean I'm in a bad place.  My 20s included some of the best and worst times of my life, both which will be hard to duplicate in my next 30 years.  Let's recap my 20s, shall we? 

• I graduated from college with some of the best friends and sorority sisters that I could ask for.  I literally couldn't have asked for a more awesome 4 years at Eastern.  It was incredible.  The friends that I made there are my sisters, my best friends, my soul mates - I could not ask for more from them.  The experiences that we had together were/are unforgettable (even the ones that we don't remember).  
• I moved to Seattle.  This was supposed to be a 3-5 year venture.  It's now going on year eight and I can pretty much say that I've made this wet, rainy place my home.  I have made wonderful friends here (Fab 5 + Lisa!) and seriously couldn't imagine a world without them for happy hour, brunch, lunch, cocktails, cocktails, cocktails, and gossip.  
• I fell madly in love.  At 24, I met the love of my young life.  Even though it was touch and go for years (y'all who were around then know exactly what I'm talking about), we pulled through and had the most incredible relationship I could have asked for.  Even though it didn't work out how we all hoped - it doesn't change the fact that Will was the one for me in my 20s.  
• I got engaged.  IN PARIS.  That just doesn't get to happen to everyone.  I'll consider myself lucky for the rest of my life that I got to have that experience.  
• I dealt with earth shattering loss.  And I survived.  Sometimes I don't know how.  But I did.  I kept seeing the quote: 'You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have'.  I don't even know if I can appropriately call me getting through that being strong - I just did what I had to do to survive.  And if I can make it through the loss of my person - I know that I can make it through pretty much anything. 
• I found a new passion in CrossFit.  The loss of Will was soul crushing and CrossFit gave me something to be excited about again.  And now as I coach - I try to share that enthusiasm with our athletes (or annoy the crap out of people who just want me to shut up and let them workout.  It's 50/50 really.).  
• I left my job and ultimately decided to start my own business.  If you can't do this at 29 - when can you do it?  Biggest professional risk I've ever taken.  But I'm happy again.  And I was miserable at my old job.  There is definitely something to be said for being happy and terrified. I'll take it over miserable any day.  

There were a lot of really exciting things about my last decade but I'm excited (albeit terrified) about the next 30 years.  I'm a different person that I was a few years ago - I'm older, stronger, and hopefully wiser   So let's see what's next... 

A St. Patty's Day to Remember

Okay... in all fairness.... today isn't actually St. Patrick's Day.  But it was the St. Pattys Day Dash and that's practically the same thing.  We signed up for the 5K a couple of weeks ago and it was finally time to actually do it.  In the pouring rain.  And the cold.  Ugh.  Nothing screams 'Yay! I'm going to run a 5K' like rain and wet.  

Big bow ties?  Winning.  

So... confession time - we didn't actually run.  Except for the last 10 feet over the finish line.  We walked (but at a pretty quick clip!), drank our coffee, chit chatted, and gawked at costumes.  There were a lot of people in tutus.  And let me tell you... tutus droop in the rain.  

Best costume I saw?  Guy in a rainbow tutu and suspenders.  And that's it.  

Biggest perk of the race?  The beer garden.  I mean... do people even run 5Ks for any other reason??  

When there is drinking and revelry - there is also lots of left over plastic keg cups.  Therefore, there is also drunken artistic shenanigans.  

And I shall leave you with this.  Happy St. Patricks Day.  Wear your green tomorrow or I shall pinch you.  

What's Brand M?

I've been getting a lot of questions lately about what I've been up to since leaving the WBA - have I found a job, am I still looking for a job, am I freaking out?  Yes, yes and yes.  All of the above... yes.  BUT... I'm finally ready to announce what else I've been working on: 

I am starting up my own consulting company - Brand M Consulting LLC.  

Logo design by Bill Reilly Design. Yay!  Thanks Bill.

Holy shit balls.  I'm starting my own company.  Actually, I've already started my own company.  It's a real thing.  I own a company.  Or better... I am a company.  I'm the whole kit and caboodle.  And I have clients.  Clients.  Real clients who are paying me for my expertise.  WHAT?!

This is the most exciting and terrifying thing that I've ever done and therefore I'm simultaneously panicking and celebrating.  

So... what does Brand M do exactly?  At this stage - we are simply meeting our customers marketing needs and helping to create marketing plans and implementation strategies.  Specifically, we focus on social media, website content and marketing collateral.  There are obviously more specific details - but for the purpose of not boring you to death, I'll spare you the full descriptions.  

Even though I'm terrified, this is something that feels right.  I saw a quote (on a Lululemon bag of all things) that said 'If you wake up uninspired more than two days in a row - change your life'.  Doing this stuff - it inspires me.  I get to be creative, I get to work with amazing small business and start ups and help them achieve their dreams.  It's awesome.  My clients are small businesses with staff of 1-12 people - the kind of businesses that don't have huge budgets for marketing and need to make the most out of what they have.  I love coming up with creative ideas, writing blog posts and getting them involved with their communities - always a must-do for small business.  

I'm totally freaked out... but I'm happy.  I know that one client will lead to another as long as I continue to work my ass off and prove that I deserve it.  I have an awesome mentor who gives me great advice and I've had an awesome group of people supporting me from the get-go.  

It's awesome and I'm psyched.  So... go Brand M!!!  Hope that this explains a little bit more about my long hiatus from blogging and just about the crazy amount of work I've been doing lately.  

Things I Learned This Weekend (Or Why My Neighbors Think I'm a Hot Mess)

This weekend was the wedding of one of my favorite couples.  You know those couples that you just knew were perfect for each other from the first time you saw them together?  This wedding was for that couple.  There was never any doubt in any of our minds that Julie and Danny were perfect for each other and their wedding was absolutely beautiful.  However, with every wedding that you attend, comes much anticipation and preparation.  I'm so jealous of men... suits on, run a hand through the hair and done.  We spend HOURS on preparation - not to mention the amount of time it takes to just physically get into the dress (which is never just as easy as putting on a pair of pants).  Being a girl sucks sometimes.  

Anyways... this is what I learned this weekend:

1. Just because your adorable hair dresser can McGyver her broken high heels, doesn't mean that you can too.  Anything that involves super glue, pliers, and heavy books is probably not a plan that you are going to be able to do well in a time crunch.  At least not well enough to be able to put it on your feet and wear successfully for the evening.  
2. Even if you think you are badass enough to McGyver your shoes - get a back up pair just in case your plan fails (as it almost inevitably will).  This will save you from having to make not one, not two, but three trips to Nordstrom in the course of the day with the last being in a panic 45 minutes before you are scheduled to be picked up.  
3. Even though you've made it home, in one piece, and alone - it will still look like you are doing the walk of shame out of your own house in the morning.  Last night's pretty bouncy hair plastered to your face and mascara/eyeliner smudges all over.  It is times like this that you will inevitably run right into your neighbors and apparently the weekend guests that they had staying with them.  Awesome. 
4. After you mumble something about having a wedding last night to try to explain your disheveled appearance, you'll get your dog in the car and go for lunch.  And by go for lunch, I obviously mean go to Wendy's (seriously, a Wendy's delivery service would make bank) - as nothing cures a slight hangover like a spicy chicken sandwich and a frosty.  
5. It's also inevitable that you will return home from your adventure for lunch to find your neighbors still standing outside by your parking spot.  Shame is having to walk past them again - this time, with a giant bag of Wendy's goodness.  Especially because Wendy's is literally one block away - and you quite obviously drove there.

Awesome.  It's been an awesome day.  

My date and I practicing our sorority girl pose.  

Total Case of the Mondays

Okay, I know that one of my 2014 goals was to blog more - and I'm already failing miserably. But here's the deal - I don't have that much exciting going on.  I feel lame just being like 'here's what I did in my workout today' or 'here's what I ate today'.  And unfortunately, there is no dating going on in my life.  Zilch.  

So... I don't have that much to say lately.  But here are few highlights of the last two weeks: 

• I'm taking an Olympic Lifting class and it's kicking my ass.  However, I'd like to think that my snatch is getting a million times better.  Oh yes... I said it. 
• While CrossFit will prepare you to 'not suck at life' - it will not prepare you to be an awesome ice skater.  As was proven by my weekend girls trip a couple of weeks ago.  Yowza.  I'm awful.
• The Seahawks have done it again - cemented one of the reasons why I love living in Seattle.   I LOVE the team spirit in Seattle.  For those of you who live in Seattle (or have spent even a miniscule amount of time here), you know that Seattle is like a tiny town stuck in a big city body.  And the small town is super annoying when you can't go anywhere without running into the top ten people you never want to see but it's AWESOME on game days.  Everyone wears blue, everyone has on a Seahawks logo and the city practically comes to a stop when the game is on.  I love it.  It's hard not to be a Seahawks fan in this city.  Soooo... GO HAWKS!!!!!
• The inventors of Cards Against Humanity deserve a medal of awesomeness. 
• I finally got 10 double unders in a row - it may have been a freak accident.  We shall see.  
• I never thought I'd say this but I'm ready for a new job.  I'm bored with being retired.  One can only look for jobs for so many hours a day.  It's exhausting.  And boring.  Did I mention it's boring???

That's about it for exciting highlights in the last two weeks.  Aren't you glad you're caught up? 


Also... I finally joined the modern blogging world and signed up for Blog Lovin'.  You can make it super easy to follow me here... <a href="http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/8919485/?claim=2akyayzf7cm">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>

Moving Forward

I wasn't sure how much about this I wanted to say - but yesterday was a weird day.  One of the weirdest that I've ever had.  It wasn't bad.  It wasn't good.  It was just weird.  Yesterday, I walked out the door of the company that I've been at for six years - and I'm not going back.  

No. I don't have a new job.  No. I don't know what I'm doing next. I am simultaneously excited and terrified. I haven't been happy where I'm at and have needed to look for a new job for a long time.  It's time.  Taking those steps out the door yesterday was the most relieving and the most terrifying thing that I have done in almost two years.  (And to clarify, even though it would have been totally badass - I didn't just walk out - I've spent the last week wrapping things up and leaving notes for everyone still there.  Like a responsible and professional adult.)

What now?  I don't know exactly.  It's the holidays so it will be nice to have a little bit of time off.  Financially, I'll be just fine for a while (as long as I stay far, far away from Lululemon and Nordies).  I'm excited to be able to take the time to look for something that I'll love.  I know that these things don't happen overnight, but I've got some really great people guiding me where they can and I have no doubt with a little time that I'll find something great.  (Do I sound confident?  Because I'm really trying.)

So.  Wish me luck.  Life is too short to be at a job that is sucking the life out of you. 

 Inspirational quote for the day:

In other news.  I have been cleared by my chiropractor and PT to compete in the Toys for Tots Throwdown next weekend.  Yay!  My back is doing much better and as long as I hold on to the pull up bar - I should be fine.  I probably won't PR my deadlift - but we'll see.  And my folks will be there to to see their first CrossFit competition - I'll probably have to keep my swearing to a minimum - although burpees usually make me sprew the F-word.  

Til next time, y'all. 

I Bought A Ladder??

I bought a ladder.  Seriously.  This is what my life has come to.  I'm not going to lie, I shop A LOT.  But one of the things that I NEVER thought I would buy?  A ladder.  I guess I just assumed that I would have a man in my life who would do that for me - a significant other, my dad, whomever.  I don't mean to sound completely un-'Female Empowerment', but really, Home Depot has never been my happy place.  Target?  Yes.  Nordstrom?  Yes.  Home Depot?  No.  I've always been perfectly fine letting the men in my life take care of my home improvement needs - it's not that I think women can't do it, it's just more that I've acknowledged my lack of skills in this particular area of life.  

Well.  I currently find myself single.  And buying a house.  And my dad lives 500+ miles away.  What does this mean?  I went to Home Depot.  By myself.  With a shopping list.  And I asked four different employees for help.  And I got every damn thing on my list. Feeling like a total competent adult??  Hell yes.  

This is what $214 looks like at Home Depot: 

I bought a ladder.  A wise man told me recently that if I need a tool once, I will need it again so I should buy it.  Good but expensive advice.  I'm now the proud owner of a 6' fiberglass ladder.  My dad was proud of me for buying a good one.  Yay me!

My entire new house was painted a lovely shade of tan.  I decided that at least one room of the house needed to be different.  So I picked a new color for my master bedroom.  I've always wanted to do a really bold color accent wall - so this is my chance.  Here are my HGTV before and after pics: 

Lovely brown.

Pip and atruzite.  Thank you Martha Stewart. The cream makes the room a million times brighter.  I love it.

I love the new shade.  I've been lusting over a white or grey tufted headboard for years now, It will look fantastic against the wall and I have the perfect black and white prints with red highlights that I can't wait to hang.  Just call me Martha Stewart.  

Something that I wish someone would have told me about buying a house?  That I'd want to spend AT LEAST $10K on new furniture that fits exclusively into my new house.  Seriously.  I didn't plan wisely enough.  

I'm not going to lie, I feel pretty damn good about getting this project done and practically by myself.  I know it's just paint... but... it's paint!  And I did it myself!  In a house that I bought myself.  Hells yes.  It's terrifying and exciting and empowering and horrifying all at the same time.  Holy crap. 

Tough Mudder Whistler (or... Where the *%@! is the Finish Line?)

Well... it happened.  We've been talking about the Tough Mudder for six months and it finally happened.  Phew.  Let's just summarize, shall we?  

First off... Tough Mudder is hard.  I knew it was going to be hard.  But it was harder than I expected.  Mostly because I didn't take into account that the Whistler mudder was at higher elevation and ON A SKI HILL.  Duh, Danielle.  Duh.  At one point we walked straight up the mountain... well... normal people walked.  I was practically crawling at that point.

I was pretty much a nervous wreck pre-race.  I've never done anything even close to this... starting with a Warrior Dash or Spartan Race may have been a good course of action - but since when have we ever done things the easy way?  Oh yeah... pretty much never.  We didn't rename ourselves Team Bad Decisions for nothing.  I had pretty much every nervous tic possible during our bus ride to the race - finger twitching, nail biting, the works - go me. 

Look at how nice and clean we are. (Please note that this was also the last time for the next four hours that we were warm and dry.)  Notice the matching socks/headbands.  We also had wristbands.  I decided that matching outfits were totally necessary and was vetoed on t-shirts.  Next time... next time...

Some things I learned during the race?

1) I am not an endurance athlete.  Never have been and odds are good that I probably never will be. My lack of running prowess made me the weakest link on my team (sorry guys!).  Being the weakest link is never a good feeling - I actually feel really terrible about it.  I really did my best - but the hills kicked my ass.  Running up a hill covered in 10lbs of mud was not my favorite thing.  

2) You really can do anything with an awesome group of people.  I would not have wanted to do this race with anyone else and honestly, I don't know if I could have.  I just really can't say enough about doing something that terrifies you with people who are super supportive - especially when you are practically peeing yourself with fear while contemplating jumping off a 20' ledge.  Also, having someone to hold your hand or literally push your ass up a hill is extremely helpful when you are exhausted. 

3) 65 degrees is NOT WARM.  Especially when you are soaking wet and climbing up the mountain.  

4) Even your teammates will tackle you into the mud right before the finish line.  True story.  

5)  Apparently - I bruise like a peach.  I look like a victim of domestic abuse and will not be wearing sleeveless apparel for a while.  Look:

Ouch.  Oh... and I am SUPER pretty today.

But look... we finished!!!  YAY!!!

I'm not 100% sure why I look all grimacy.  Maybe it's because I'm freezing.  Maybe it's because I'm still reeling from the fact that Jess tackled me.  Pretty sure I'm probably just freezing. This is my 'I'm cold and trying to smile' face.

Here are miscellaneous other event pictures for your viewing pleasure: 

We were obviously taking our photo session less seriously than the guys did.

At this point - we are at the 'get us out of here and into a hot shower' stage.

Overall - Tough Mudder Whister was AMAZING.  Hard, painful, torturous - but amazing.  I am so glad that I did it - and I am so proud of us all.  

Hmmm... other tidbits from a weekend in Whistler?  

Canada is gorgeous.  See?

We saw a bear.  True story.  Maybe 50 yards away (but I really think it was closer). 

That black spot in the distance?  It's a bear.  Apparently you are supposed to speak firmly to the bear while staring them down.  We chose the back away/stand and stare option. 

I went on the Whistler Blackcomb Peak-to-Peak gondola and didn't throw up OR have to hold someone's hand.  Total victory.  

Las Vegas - A Recap

Howdy y'all.  I know that what happens in Vegas is supposed to stay in Vegas - unless of course, you have a blog.  Then you post all the pictures online for all the world to see.  Here is a picture tutorial of our Vegas trip: (which was AMAZING - FYI)

Breakfast at the airport.  We walked in and the server definitely greeted us with: 'Alcohol.  You are alcohol people.  I can tell.'  It had to of been the hats.  EVERYONE asked us if we were going to have fun.  Hats.  It's where it's at people. 

Look how pretty and enthusiastic we are!

Fast forward three hours:

Winning. (This is also me 'pre-tan'-- hello legs!)  The pool at the Wynn was glorious.  It was also topless.  Hold your judgment - all of our tops stayed ON.  However, the bachelorette party in front of us was a totally different story.

Grapefruit mimosas by the pool?  Yes. 

We avoided pictures in our swimsuits.  Actually - we took them.  And then I deleted them.  Seattle pastey + bikini = not attractive.  Damnit.  

Fast forward another 6 hours + nap/shower time:

Why yes.  This is a giant high heeled shoe in the Cosmopolitan.  And yes, we are standing in it.  And yes, I made them.  And made a random stranger take our picture.  Being bossy isn't just a Seattle thing - I am also bossy on vacation.

We had tickets to see Band of Horses at the Cosmopolitan. The ticket said the concert started at 8pm.  We arrived at 7:45 because all of us are punctual people (after having dinner at D.O.C.G Enoteca - see 'Summary of Things I Ate' for more on that).  Turns out... main acts at Vegas concerts do not start until at least 10:30pm.  No one told us this -- and these are things that I feel people should have told us.  This is what happened during our two hour and forty five minute wait:

Giant Beers!

Angular poses.  Really - I was trying to capture the beauty of the Las Vegas strip at night.  I feel like Tara photo bombed me. 

Girl pictures taken from a random dude.  Who then asked us to get cozy with his brother so he could take a picture and win a bet.  Of course we did it.  He was the luckiest dude at that pool.

Waiting and bored.  Made friends with the old dudes next to us who were smoking cigars and telling us that Band of Horses cancelled.  Ummm... excuse me sir... if you received an email to this effect, why have you been waiting two hours??? At this point we became mildly concerned.

And we actually took a cute picture.  Go us.  We are adorable.  And cold.  Did I mention that we were cold?  60 degrees and freezing.  My dad would call me a wuss.  He would be right.

Finally, at approximately 10:30 - Band of Horses came on stage.  And they were AMAZING. 

Worth the wait.  But still annoyed that the wait was that long.  Also, Las Vegas had never seen so much flannel - Seattle was missing all of its hipsters that night.  At least we weren't homesick.  

The concert was AMAZING.  So glad we went - so glad we waited.  

(Sidenote: this is the never ending day... my apologies... the rest of our short trip was not nearly as full as the first 18 hours)

Fast forward to midnight (yes... midnight... that hour of the day that I RARELY see): 

We went back to the hotel to change.  I have not changed and gone out after midnight probably since I was 22.  Maybe.  Maybe 21.  Regardless - it was a LONG time ago.  

And then... we went to a nightclub.  (I know, I know... we are all thinking the same thing... nightclub?!?!  Who am I?!?!!)  Well... not the kind of person that goes to a nightclub normally but had a TOTAL FREAKING BLAST at this one.  Meera's friends from college were there and had set us up with a private cabana.  Umm... let me say that again.  Private.  Cabana.  Not just a table or bottle service.  CABANA.  Our own private bathroom, private couches, bottle service, private hot tub - all overlooking the dance floor.  It was a spectacular experience.  Meera's friends - Sean and Matt - were both amazing, fun and just generally awesome.  We had a great group of people to have this experience with.  

Here are more pictures: 

I wish I had a better picture of this club.  It was outdoors - at the pool.  And one of the coolest places I've seen in a while -- okay... ever.  I've never been to club like that. 

This is Courtney.  She's a resident surgeon with Meera.  This is what happens when Tara talks your way into the roped off dance floor and Bassnectar is DJing.  It was insane.  Wall to wall people.  We worked our way up to like 6 people from the DJ.  And then we almost got crushed.  True story. 

This is the picture from the DJ booth.  And yes... I stole this from the Bassnectar website.  And yes... I looked at the Bassnectar website to find a picture.  This looks crazy.  It was even crazier feeling six people back from the DJ.  Amazing.  So glad I followed Tara in... I never would have done that by myself! 

This pic is just darn adorable.  Hello Tara - that is a cocktail.  Probably a strong one.

We've had approximately 7 vodka/Red Bulls at this point.  Don't tell me how bad they are for me.  I know.  Downers - uppers.  I get it.  I drink them once every 5 years.  3 am at a club in Vegas - I'll drink what I want. 

We are so darn cute.  I am very short.  She is very tall.  Hmm... how did that happen?!

  Oh... and then this happened: 

One may say: are you in a hot tub?!  Yes. Yes, we are.  At 4 in the morning.  At a nightclub.  In our dresses.  That happened.  And it was awesome.  

So... the next day we were pretty much worthless.  Tired + mildy hungover = full day of sitting by the pool.  Actually - it's a miracle we weren't ridiculously hungover.  Literally - by the pool from 11 am until 4 pm.  Then nap time - then fancy dinner time.  B&B Ristorante in The Venetian.  Pretty girl time: 

It's just nice to get dressed up sometimes.  Love it.

Dinner was good - more on that in my 'Summary of Things I Ate' post.  But that will have to wait until tomorrow - this post is already 17 times longer than it should be.  

Pretty sure I was sound asleep by like 11 pm on Sunday night - we are too old for multiple nights of raucousness.  

We left on Monday and spent all morning laying by the pool - I have the sunburn to prove it.  Sleeping last night was painful and made me add one more thing to the 'Why I Hate Living Alone' list - no one to aloe my back.  FML.  Anyways... here is a Vegas parting shot:

Do my legs look slightly tanner?  They should.