Thursday, November 7, 2013

The Selfie

Okay guys, it's time that we address a super pressing matter:  the selfie.  For some reason, this phenomenon is sweeping the social media world and it is probably my biggest pet peeve.  For those of you who aren't familiar with what a selfie is (Mom...) - here is the definition according to Wikipedia:
A selfie is a type of self-portrait photograph, typically taken with a hand-held digital camera or camera phone. In August 2013, the term selfie also made its debut in Oxford Dictionaries Online's quarterly update where it is defined as "a photograph that one has taken of oneself, typically one taken with a smartphone or webcam and uploaded to a social media website."
Really?  This term 'selfie' is now in the Oxford dictionary?  I'm embarrassed for my generation.  

Okay.  Back to the point at hand.  There is a time and place for a selfie - and I will not try to imply that I am above taking one.  Here are a few examples of what I consider to be appropriate selfies: 
The 'I'm pretty sure this costume makes me look like I have ginormous love handles - please confirm' selfie
The 'I'm way too excited to be going to Whistler to run in the mud! selfie
(note: only sent to other super excited to run in the mud)
The 'Sitting on the floor of our new house for the first time' selfie
The 'Making fun of Miley Cyrus's tongue' selfie
The 'I managed to fix my own hair AND do my own makeup - I'm good to go' selfie
(I actually sent this to my pet sitter to show to my dog so she didn't forget what I looked like.)
Please note that in all of these selfies - I am fully clothed and also fully aware that I look like a MORON.  I think it's okay to do selfies as long as you are aware that you look idiotic.  I really wanted to post terrible selfies of other people - but something about that just felt wrong - so let's just chat about the terrible types of selfies that there are: 
  • The Car Selfie:  I have at least one, probably more like five, friends on Facebook who are CONSTANTLY posting pictures of themselves in their cars.  'Look how pretty I am driving to work!'.  'Look how pretty I am driving home from work!'  'Look how pretty I am driving to the grocery store!'  Stop.  Just stop. (The one car selfie exception?  One picture after you leave the hair salon showing off your fabulous new color.  That is it.)
  • The Gym Selfie:  If you are at the gym to work out - WORK OUT.  Stop taking pictures of your abs in the mirror.  'Oh excuse me... just a minute, quick break from my workout to look sexy and take a picture'.  I hate you.
  • The Bathroom Mirror Selfie:  Nothing is sexier than a photo of you with a toilet in the background.  
  • The Flexing in the Mirror Selfie:  No.  NO.  NO.  
For the love of all things holy - please stop with the pointless selfies.  I don't care what you look like while getting ready for work, or while working out, or while driving your car.  Actually... no one cares.  I am much more interested in seeing pictures of you doing something interesting - selfie while on an awesome hike?  Hell yeah.  Way better than the 'look at me in my undies' selfie that seems to be sweeping the nation. 

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