Let's Have An Adventure Shall We?

When I think about 2016 - I have a hard time verbalizing my thoughts on it. 2015 was a rollercoaster on a few different levels - but it was definitely a good year.  Honestly, I think that the older you get, the more you realize that life just IS a rollercoaster - at least if you're doing it right.  That means that you are taking the chances that you need to open yourself up to failure and torment - but also taking the chances on the the really awesome things that make you insanely happy. Thus leading to the highs and lows that make up the Thunder Mountain Railroad of Life.  (Wow... that sounded deep, huh?)

2015 had some pretty awesome experiences, but also included a lot of lessons that I had to learn.  Seriously - I thought that by 31, I'd be done learning life lessons. Nope. Apparently that isn't a thing that ever stops. And I am by no means saying that all of these lessons were bad - to the contrary, most of them were good.

So what about 2016?  What's going to be different?  Well... I don't really believe in resolutions.  But I do believe in changing your life for the better.  So that's my goal - to do little things that change my life for the better.  I mean, my life is pretty good (despite all my complaints to the contrary) so we aren't talking a total life overhaul here.  And while many of these goals are private (please... I am NOT sharing all my dirty little secrets with the world) - there are a few that I can share:

• Think less. Turns out that anyone who knows me even a little bit, knows that I am an over thinker.  Seriously.  I can turn almost any situation into a life-ending tragedy in my brain. My brain is the supreme pessimist. I don't know when I stopped trusting my instincts and started overanalyzing. So... 2016 is the year to stop it. Breathe. Trust. Let go. And just see what happens.
• Disconnect from social media. Let's call this more of a social experiment than a goal for the year.  For the month of January - I am deleting Facebook from my phone (I'll still have access to it via computer and/or iPad - so I won't go totally off the grid.).  I've read several articles about how social media affects the way we see ourselves - and I feel like having it at my fingertips 24/7 is just too much. So... I'm giving it up for January.  Maybe for longer.  We'll see how I do.  So far, I'm on day four and I haven't caved yet.  Stay tuned.
• Travel more.  I don't care if it's a day trip to the coast or a weekend trip to eastern WA or a weeklong trip to Central America.  I just want to get out of the city more. Seattle is bustling and I think is probably a top contributor to what makes me anxious sometimes.  Sitting in traffic and dealing with being surrounded by people all that time can be exhausting and I am just not built like that. I love the city, I really do - but I find that I'm happier when I can get away from it all.
• Make my bed every day. Why? Discipline, that's why.  Don't worry that the last two days - Grace has totally removed the throw pillows from it when she wants to snuggle up - but at least I can say that I've tried.  (And to clarify, it's not like I was a delinquent before who never made the bed - I usually do. I'm just making the concentrated effort to take the extra minute before work to do it correctly, throw pillows and all. I know... I'm weird. Whatever. I'm okay with it.)

And so here we go.  Let's have an adventure.    

A Letter to the Editor

I said I was going to do it... and I did.  I've never actually written a letter to the editor in response to anything (and those who know me, know that lots of articles actually piss me off).  But this is something that I know.  And something that I love.  

Here is what I wrote in response to the article: Should Colleges Get Rid of Fraternities?

To Ms. Robbins:

I could not be more offended by your piece in the article “Should Colleges Get Rid of Fraternities?”.  I am a sorority woman.  I am a university graduate and an alumna of an NPC sorority.  I was an active member of my sorority – serving on my executive board and also serving as the President of the Panhellenic Council at my university.  As an alumna – I have volunteered my time as Chapter Advisor and Panhellenic Advisor to my local chapter.  I am a well-educated, successful woman who is still actively involved in my sorority. 

I do not deny that poor choices have been made by fraternity and sorority members over the years – and most especially recently. These fraternities and sororities have deserved every punishment that is coming to them. But lumping all fraternities and sororities into the same category is simply not fair.  According to the National Panhellenic Conference website - each year, NPC-affiliated collegians and alumnae donate more than $5 million to worthy causes, provide $2.8 million in scholarships to women, and volunteer 500,000 hours in their communities.  Does that sound like the works of terrible organizations that no one should be a part of?  And that’s just sororities – fraternities have amazing stats too, just like the ones listed alongside your article.    

You ask “How many students have to die before universities step in and protect the young adults whom parents entrust with their care?”  The answer should be zero.  No students should die at college.  When parents drop their children off at the university steps, they should be able to trust that their children will come home safely.  But that is not the world that we live in.  It’s estimated that 1,825 students between the ages of 18-24 die yearly from binge drinking.  That number is too high and it’s tragic. 

But I have watched hazing take place across all college organizations.  If one of the drunk freshman that I watched jog through a crowded shopping center in a Speedo in 30 degree weather last Christmas as ‘swim team initiation’ had an unfortunate accident and died – would that have been enough to make people take a look at hazing across the board?  It’s time that people realize it’s not just Greeks who make mistakes and poor decisions.  Just two weeks ago, a man was sentenced to four years in jail for the 2011 hazing death of a FAMU drum major.   

With regards to the study that fraternity men are twice as likely to rape – are you also using that logic to suggest that we ban sports teams from college campuses?  UVA, Vanderbilt, FSU, University of Montana, William and Mary – these colleges are just a tiny sampling of schools that have had athletes’ accused of and/or found guilty of rape.  Take a look at the professional athletes who have been accused and/or found guilty of rape post-college – Ben Roethlisberger and Darren Sharper just to name a couple.

Just yesterday, presidential candidate Hillary Clinton praised the Sigma Phi Epsilon fraternity for fighting sexual assault.  She must not have seen the report that those men were twice as likely to rape someone.  

On another note, shame on you for not giving your fellow women any credit. 

“As long as fraternities exist, sororities will revolve around them, focusing their considerable womanpower on demeaning activities like wooing Homecoming or Greek Week escorts rather than women’s activism and empowerment.” 

You are clearly a fan of womanpower, but you think so little of all sorority women. We empower girls through our various philanthropies – many which focus on working with young girls, fighting women’s health issues, and even creating foundations of our own for leadership development and academic excellence in women.  Our friendships alone are testament to womanpower.  I have been out of college for 10 years and my sorority sisters are still my best friends.  When my fiancé was killed almost four years ago – my sisters traveled from all over the state and country to be with me at his funeral.  Even girls who I wouldn’t consider part of my ‘inner circle’ dropped everything in their lives to sit there and hold my hand during the worst time of my life – because we were bonded by the sisterhood and rituals that you make light of.  You have no way of understanding what that is like because you never took the time to take a sorority seriously – you went in looking for anything bad and you made (and continue to make) a mockery of what we love.    

I have great friends who are fraternity men.  They are smart, driven, successful, wonderful men. Some of these men would not be the men that they are today without fraternity life – it taught them invaluable leadership skills and expected excellence of them.  It taught them how to grow from boys into great men who I am proud to call my friends.  To call for a universal shut down of fraternities shows your ignorance into what a fraternity really is. 

I have read your book.  I read it when it first came out as I needed to know what the anti-Greek argument was going to be as I headed into recruitment in one of the most important Greek life leadership roles at my university.  When I read this Wall Street Journal article, I also wiped the dust off your book on my shelf.  For some reason, I have held onto it through all these years.  Your book and this article do nothing but perpetuate the stereotypes that I, and all the Greek leaders that I have ever known, spent all of their college years (and many years after) fighting against. 

Greeks are not the people that you make them out to be.  And as sorority women, I am proud to say that we will continue to harness our 3.5 million members towards vital causes.  And we will do it alongside fraternities who support vital causes of their own.  I am, and always will be, proud to be Greek. 

Sincerely,

Danielle Molle

The Rules of Attraction (Or Lack There Of)

Attraction is a funny beast.  It's one of those things that sometimes it's there - and sometimes, it just isn't.  And it's SO RIDICULOUS. (And no, this is not just because I got sucked into a 'Married at First Sight' marathon and now I'm overanalyzing EVERY relationship I've ever had.)

I have been dating for at least 17 years - ever since the 8th grade when my very first boyfriend held my hand on the bus.  Our relationship lasted the three hour bus ride home from the state capital during that particular stage in life when having a boyfriend was everything that a girl needed to be popular.  Pretty sure we broke up immediately afterwards - I probably had one of my friends call one of his friends and break the bad news to him.  And that still didn't stop him from trying to feel me up during an innocent back rub during freshman year.  And sophomore year.  And probably senior year too.  (For the record - it never worked.)

During the last few years, I have gone on a lot of dates.  I'm not sure it's more than the average single person (it's actually probably not - I have friends that have gone on LOTS of dates.  Like multiple dates in a day kind of dating) - I'm not like that.  But I've still gone on my fair share of dates.  And have spent even more time talking to various dudes via messenger and text.  And generally - I can tell within a few short messages if this is something that has potential or not.

I don't mean that to sound so judgmental. But seriously. It is baffling to me how someone who is great on paper - handsome, successful, charismatic - can fall so flat on my attraction scale, while on the other hand, I can be so crazy attracted to someone who I only have a few hilarious text message exchanges with.  Is chemistry truly a result of a physical meeting?  Or is it something that we can develop before we actually lay eyes on each other?

These are the ultimate questions of dating.  How much 'foreplay' is too much?  When you meet someone via online dating (or really - any relationship where a face-to-face meeting isn't immediately possible), how long can you text, message, call, and flirt before the spark wears itself out? If the spark isn't there during initial contact - should you even bother meeting?  And heaven forbid - what if the spark is so good during the foreplay that it puts too much pressure on for the actual meeting and you blow it?  What then?

Seriously.  I'm exhausted just thinking about all these questions.

A Girl Walks Into A Bar...

Alright... so it wasn't a bar.  It was a wedding.  And really, the heading should be 'Two Girls Walk Into A Wedding in the EXACT SAME DRESS'.  It's like every girls nightmare come true - no one ever wants to be the one who shows up in the same thing as someone else (it's bad enough when you are a bridesmaid and forced to match up to 10 other peeps).  Well... nightmare realized.

A guy friend asked me how my weekend as a bridesmaid was.  Well... it was awesome.
B-squad bridesmaids - just in case you need backups.   

For the record - one of the most annoying things you can do is walk up to a set of girls at a wedding and ask 'do you know that you're wearing the same dress?'.  Nope.  Hadn't noticed.  Unless you see that one of us with a seeing eye dog - it's probably safe to assume that we are aware.

Although it was mildly annoying - there is no one that I would rather match than this girl.  She obviously has great taste.

The wedding was one of my sorority sisters and while I have expounded on the joys of being a Gamma Phi Beta before - let me just do so again.  My life would be drastically different if I had not walked into the house and met these women.

Yes.  We're all wearing green and blue.  It was apparently a Seahawks themed event.
Unbeknownst to the bride and groom of course.  

No matter how much things change - marriage, kids, death, divorce - some things never change.  We're all older and wiser (okay - it's guaranteed that we're older.  Wiser is still up for debate.).  We can still reminisce about the old days - but we know when we've hit our limit (or most of us do - some of us still end up kissing boys outside the wedding.  Me?  Never.  I'm an adult.)  We are there for each other thru thick and thin, that's just how we roll.  It's like a marriage vow - only without the benefits.

Joining a sorority was the best decision that I ever made.  Not just because I can now call myself a sorority girl for the rest of my existence (you are welcome future children!) but because the girls that I met will be stuck with me for the rest of forever.  For. Eh. Ver.  (Just like the Sandlot folks, just like the Sandlot...)

In other news.  I caught the bouquet.  So... stay tuned for updates in that realm.

Hawaii... Part 3 (And 4. And Maybe 5)

Well, my Hawaii adventure is officially over.  I seriously think I'm having withdrawals from the beach and the sunshine.  And I'm already agonizing over losing my tan.

Anyways...

Part 3: No one told me to bring long johns.  

What they should really put in the Big Island guidebook is that you probably won't see any actual lava.  Don't get me wrong... seeing the glow of lava at night was pretty darn cool.  But besides the illusion of lava, we really didn't see anything but rocks.  A lot of rocks.  So. Many. Rocks.

Walking the lava rock wasteland.

The other thing that should be in the guidebook?  How bloody, freaking cold it was on the volcano side of the mountain.  At least we brought sweatshirts and wore yoga pants.  It could have been worse - I saw people grossly unprepared.  That gift shop must make a killing off of sweatshirt sales.  It's probably the only place in all of Hawaii that sells more sweatshirts than anything else.

We saw almost every major volcano site on the Big Island.  We even saw where the lava flowed into the transfer station. For those of you who don't know what a transfer station is - it's a dump.  We saw hardened lava at the dump.  That's not in the guidebook either.  

Bucket List Item #394: See a volcano.  

Check.  

Part 4: We would have been terrible Vikings.  

Let's just get back to the fact that the ocean is terrifying.  The creatures that swim in the ocean are ginormous and sneak up on you.  I'm prepared to handle the predators of land - I can hear a bear crashing through the woods a mile away (okay... that may be a little exaggeration) but you get the idea.  Sharks?  Those suckers sneak up on you.  Urchins?  They just sit there like silent jagged rocks.  Manta rays?  Don't even get me started... 

While my first snorkeling experience didn't exactly go swimmingly (pun intended), my second was much better.  We look a sea kayak tour that included some snorkel time -  and after a serious internal battle (one in which my body was pretty adamant about remaining in the kayak and my brain was saying 'stop being a baby'), I jumped out of the kayak and snorkeled around a bit.  Actually... it went something more like this: put feet over edge of kayak. Pull them back in. Get yelled at by Paige for being a weenie.  Put feet back out - touch them to the water and try not to think of the story of the guy having his legs bitten off by a shark out of a kayak (thanks for that, Maui guy).  Fling self into water (yup... just as graceful as it sounds).  Immediately try to curl up into a floating version of the fetal position.  Realize I'll drown if I don't swim.  Tentatively swim.  Finally... snorkel.  I definitely never let the boat get more than 20 feet away from me.  But I did it.  And I didn't cry.  

Proof that I was, at one point, totally submerged in the ocean.
And not because I was drowning.  Two thumbs up!

Sea kayaking on the other hand was something COMPLETELY different than what I've gotten used to doing around here.  This was for several reasons:  

1. There are waves.
2. There is seasickness.  
3. There are shadows under the water that you are convinced are manta rays (and come on, at least one of them must have been something slightly more terrifying than a rock). 
4. We were terrible at rowing in tandem.  

Oh well... you can't be good at everything. 

When no one else is on the water to take your picture - selfies become your only option. 

We're in a sea cave. (If you sing it to the tune of 'I'm On A Boat', it gets way more exciting) 

Things we learned while on our kayaking adventure?
We would have made terrible vikings.
 Rowing in tandem?  Not our thing. 

Hawaii... Part 2 (Or... How I Puked in a Hawaii Costco Parking Lot)

I realized as I typed 'Part 2' that there may be many parts to this series... I'll be like the never ending Fast and the Furious franchise that is already up to like 18 or something mind-boggling like that. Although I legitimately would like to see the newest edition to the franchise - mostly as a tribute to  Paul Walker, who I had a gigantic crush on after the first movie - which I saw at least 5 times in the movie theater and totally fan-girled out over the cars at Universal Studios when I was a senior in high school. I almost wish I had access to those pictures just so I could share the total dorkiness that was me at 18... almost.

Anyways... back around to Hawaii...

Hawaii is still beautiful and I am still a shade of cherry tomato red.  Apparently my ability to rock a tan abandoned me when I became a Seattle resident. Fingers crossed that the latest in my battle with the glowing orb in the sky is a tan tomorrow.

PBR smells like college.

In other news... I SNORKELED!!!  And I didn't drown, cry, or freak out.  Okay... maybe I freaked out a little bit.  But the lifeguard didn't have to swim out to get me - so we're going to go ahead and call it a win.  I'll be the first to admit that I didn't love the general snorkeling experience.  There's something unnatural about breathing through a plastic tube with your face in the water.  My depth perception was all out of whack and so fish that were 20 feet away looked like they were right in my face - it's freaky.  When I saw a sea urchin that was no less than 12inches across, I was done.

So while yesterday started with some innocent snorkeling - it ended with a night out on the town.  For those of you who are familiar with my schedule - you are aware that generally my bedtime is early.  If I'm up til 10, I start to get concerned that I'll be all yawn-y the next day.  And I wish I could say that this only applies to 'school nights' but it doesn't.  It's all the time.  I like bed.  And sleeping.  It's a thing.  8 hours of sleep and I are a match made in heaven.  

Let's just say that I didn't get 8 hours of sleep yesterday.  I probably didn't even get 4.

We shut down the bar.  We made friends with locals.  We convinced a guy who wouldn't go away that we were a lesbian couple here for our wedding (to which he still didn't get the hint and hung around telling us how beautiful our love was and getting teary eyed over the fact that he isn't married. True story.).  We played giant Jenga.  We drank all the beers.

Today we went to one of the beautiful white sand beaches near Kona. (What I have learned is that Hawaii is the newest of the Hawaiian Islands and is full of lava.  Most of the beaches are really rocky because the rocks haven't broken down over hundreds of years into sand.  Just a quick knowledge bomb for you.) And I woke up this morning feeling like I had been hit by a Mack Truck.  Apparently 72 IPAs and two Gilligan's Girl coconut cocktails will do that to you.

So a little known fact about me is that I get terribly motion sick - the back seat of cars, rides at amusement parks, probably boats on the ocean - all of them make me want to hurl.  Well.  Today I did.  In the parking lot of Costco.  Awesome.  Vacation high point.  But, like Paige pointed out, at least it wasn't in the parking lot of a Walmart.  Touché.

Hawaii... Part 1

First off, I know that I've been a terrible blogger for the last year.  I've had a lot of personal things going on that have made it hard for me to be collected and put my thoughts down on paper and definitely, I have not been funny.  So... moving on. 

Hawaii!!!  The land of secret beaches in the middle of lava flows. 

I have been talking with one of my best friends for at least two years about taking a vacation somewhere - we've talked about London and Paris, all over the United States, and finally, Hawaii.  Paige is one of my sorority sisters from college and we are very much like two peas in a pod - minus that she carries a gun for work and I'm typically accessorizing the crap out of myself.  Well... she turned 30 this year, and I never took a 30th birthday trip - so we decided to make Kona, Hawaii, our big trip.  It's perfect - her family has a condo here and so basically all we had to do was get here.  Perfect.

She brought me a lei at the airport!  HAWAII!!!!

I've never been to Hawaii.  Growing up, our family vacations consisted of wherever we could go in the camper (i.e. NOT Hawaii).  I did get to spend a lot of time camping on a beach in Mexico - something that most people will never get to do (namely because now people get beheaded for even stepping foot in parts of Mexico).

Even growing up in California, I was never much of a beach kid.  I can't remember ever spending much time there (with the exception of Mexico).  I'm sure we went, but I just can't really remember it.  I have a vague memory of camping near the beach with my parents and my cousin and it being cold and rainy the entire time.  That being said - this could just be some dream I had once and it never actually happened.

Moral of the story?  I haven't spent much time in the ocean.  One time, in Mexico, a kid camping near us stepped on a sea urchin and impaled himself with no less than 70 quills in his foot (that's why you wear water shoes kids!).  It led to my first child-sized anxiety attack - in a less than ideal location - a boogie board in the middle of a deep tide pool.  There's some debate in my family about what happened next - but the general consensus is that I screamed my head off until my mom crawled out on the rocks and rescued me (thanks Mom).  I was 8. Add in the discovery of movies like Jaws and the ocean has been ruined for me since.

I am now 31 and am generally consider myself to be relatively tough. Well... tell that to the sea turtle who scared the shit out of me yesterday.  (And yes, he was 20 yards away - something I didn't know when Paige said 'Oh look - a sea turtle!')  Here's the thing about the ocean:  it is TERRIFYING.  For those of you who think sharks are the only scary things out there - you'd be wrong.  I have discovered my new greatest fear: manta rays (no - not manatees - I've conquered that fear - or at least laid it to wait until my next Florida or Puerto Rico trip).

See.  Terrifying.  And no, I didn't take this picture.  I will never in this lifetime be that close to one of these sea monsters. 

Manta rays are like the giant bats of the sea (and I don't particularly love the bats of land either) and here in Hawaii, they grow to a wingspan of something like 12 feet (sometimes bigger).  12 feet.  12 FEET.  We saw one at a distance yesterday - I mean a LONG distance, like 100 yards - and while it was beautiful, it also made my stomach jump into my throat.  People do night scuba diving with these creatures here and let them swim all around them - they are attracted to the flashlights.  Hell to the no.  Those people be crazy.

I'm looking forward to trying snorkeling (yes, I'm 31 and haven't snorkeled since I was probably 8) but I'm also terrified that I'll have a full fledged freakout in the water.  Water creatures are squirrely and the current adds to the mystery of where they are going.  On top of that, I'm not a super great swimmer - I can swim to save my life and the life of someone who is drowning - but besides that - not really great.  I didn't grow up swimming... that's not a thing we did in Montana a lot.  Floating the river?  Yes.  Jumping off the bridge into the river?  Yes.  Swimming?  No.

Turns out that I'm much better with scary land animals.  Maybe it's because we're on the same playing field.  When I get into the water, I very much feel how a fish out of water must feel.  I have been raised to know how to handle running into a bear in the woods - but put me in the water with a sea turtle and I have no idea what to do.  And before you say it, those suckers bite - I've seen it on NatGeoWild.

So... fingers crossed for my impending snorkeling experience.  I've borrowed an underwater camera so I can chronicle the entire experience - complete with scared face underwater selfies. Maybe I'll even get a picture or two of fishies.

I should be off - Hawaii is a land where everyone gets up at the crack of dawn and sitting out here on the lanai (can I please start calling my patio that?),  I'm pretty sure I just saw a small child out jogging with her parents. That probably means its time to get my butt in gear. Unfortunately, no one that I'm staying with understands the importance of coffee like I do.  At least Paige knows that I'm much more amenable to life in general after a cup of coffee. That's the joy of having a friend for 10+ years.

But First, Coffee...

When I tell people that I coach CrossFit at 5:30 in the morning, I get a whole range of appalled faces staring back at me - generally followed by the 'how do you do that?!' question.  Coffee, people.  So. Much. Coffee.

But lately, when I've been waking up (at 4:30am) - I've been noticing that there are several distinct stages to the wake up process.  

Stage 1)  Denial.  

Is that my alarm clock?!  There is absolutely no way that it is already 4:30.  I just barely fell asleep.  

Stage 2)  Snooze.  

9 minutes more sleep will make my life better.  Just 9 more minutes.  

Stage 1)  Denial.  Round 2.  

Is that my alarm clock?!?!  No way it's been 9 minutes.  

Stage 2)  Snooze.  Round 2.  

9 more minutes.  I just need 9. More. Minutes. 

Stage 3)  Acceptance.  

Okay.  No more snoozing.  Must get up.  But at least there's coffee. 

Stage 4)  Hope.  

Wait.  Maybe class is cancelled.  I should check my email.  Maybe no one is signed up for our most popular class of the day.

Stage 5)  Resignation.  Round 2.  

Of course class isn't cancelled.  Okay.  Time to get up.  Must get coffee.

Stage 6)  Annoyance.

Dog crawls into warm spot in the bed.  I feed you AND pick up your poop - you should at least be up when I am up.

Stage 7)  Anger.  

Where is my sports bra?!  Why do I only have one sock?! Why didn't I get organized last night?! It's so much easier when I'm organized.  It's like I'm new.

Stage 8)  First sip of coffee.  

I officially feel sorry for people who don't drink coffee. This is amazing.

Stage 9)  Ready to roll.  

10 minutes, one cup of coffee, a giant to-go cup and some mascara.  Let's do this.

Stage 10)  Caffeinated enough to annoy the crap out of my athletes.  

Winning!

That, my friends, is how you get a functional CrossFit coach at 5:30 in the morning.

Throwback Weekend

This weekend, I went back to Spokane for a quick trip down memory lane.  And by memory lane - I actually mean Cheney/EWU - my alma mater.  Okay, college was probably some of the best four years of my life.  And that doesn't mean that all the awesome stuff that has happened since or before doesn't matter - but I wouldn't trade my years at EWU for anything.  This weekend was so much fun - great time with great friends.  So glad I went.

That being said, this weekend made it grossly apparent that I am now officially an adult and not a 20 year old kid.  This is why:

#1) My appreciation of clean bathrooms.  

Wait.

Let's actually make this more general.  My appreciation of clean spaces period.  I was in a sorority. Hands down - joining Gamma Phi Beta was one of the best decisions of my life.  But I'll be the first to admit that sorority and fraternity houses aren't always the cleanest places.  This weekend, I definitely had a moment of 'wait... were frat houses always this gross? is this a new thing?'.

Yeah... I'm pretty sure they were always that gross.  I was just impervious to the grime.  And I probably drank enough vodka that I was immune to the germs anyways (shh... don't tell).

#2)  The bar at 11:50pm.  

Okay - lies.

The bar at 9:45pm.

I know that I lost my cool factor like 5 years ago (maybe I never had it? Unsure), but seriously, I'm too old to show up at a bar later than 9:45.  At 9:45 - I'm pretty sure that if I'm not already out, I am probably in my sweat pants.  Old?  Yup.

#3) I actually go to the football game and care about who wins (us, obviously).  

When we were in college, I'm pretty sure that I went to approximately 50% of the games that I tailgated at.  EWU was only mediocre when I was living in Cheney and so, unfortunately, no one really cared.  We were way more concerned with how much beer we could drink (again... shhhh... don't tell!).

EWU games are a totally different beast than they were when I was there.  The tailgate situation is awesome.  The team is AMAZING. It's just so much more fun.

#4)  Day drinking is fun.  Until it's not.  

As an adult, there is a wall that I hit during day drinking. That wall is directly proportionate to the  amount of sleep I get the night before and the amount of food that I have eaten that day.  And for every hour that goes by - you should probably make sure that I have food - I'm like one of those guys in the Snickers commercials.

I officially hit a wall after the game.  And was tired.  And hangry.  And thirsty.  And a little bit car sick.  And therefore SUPER grumpy.

And THAT never happened in college.

CrossFit Girls Guide to... The Rules for Dating.

Lately, I’ve had several conversations with friends about dating and what we are ‘supposed’ to do.  We live in these constraints of when to call, when to text, when to wait, what to say, what not to say.  But do these rules really matter?  Seriously.  Do they? 

I’m not sure that they do. 

Maybe I’m the wrong person to be questioning these rules, as I’m still very much the most single person alive. So I guess there’s a good chance that I’m doing everything wrong.  

I have to wonder – would things be different if we stopped living under this crazy cloak of fear that we are going to mess things up?  If we didn’t play these games of ‘I don’t want to seem too eager so I’m going to make them wait for a response’ or if we didn’t feel weird about asking for what we want – would that change things in our favor? 

I would love for someone to say what they mean and do what they say.  And if this just happens to be a hot dude who drinks whiskey and does CrossFit – even more the better. 

I’m pretty sure that I spend way more time that I should being concerned over what someone meant when they responded ‘Cool.’ to a text message.  I dwell.  I wish I could say that I didn’t – but I do.  And honestly, many of my friends do (dudes included).  And if we do, it means a lot of people do.

I have to think that some level of dwelling is natural.  I have spent the last year dwelling over something that I screwed up with someone who was actually pretty great.  See… I don’t just dwell over what other people do and say – I also dwell over the stupid stuff that I do.  We all do it – I think it’s just rare that we’ll admit it. 

I’m trying to be slightly less obsessive over the crazy unspoken (or spoken in hushed voices) rules that seem to rule the dating world today.  And I’d like to exchange these unofficial rules for a couple of official ones. 

1. Don’t say ‘Drinks definitely’ if you don’t mean ‘Drinks?! Definitely!’
2. Never use the words ‘I have quite a lot of board games’.
3. The word ‘cool’ and the 'thumbs up' emoji, don’t actually mean anything.  Use your words. 

My Next 30 Years

Today is the last day of my 20s.  Holy crap.  Some things just sneak up on you - and 30 was one of those things.  

There were many things that I thought I'd have figured out by 30.  I thought I'd be married, I thought I'd be well on my way to kids, I thought I'd be well established in my career.  But it's like they say 'Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans'.  Seriously.  Nothing in my life is as I thought it would be on the eve of turning 30.  Even though I'm not where I thought I'd be, it doesn't mean I'm in a bad place.  My 20s included some of the best and worst times of my life, both which will be hard to duplicate in my next 30 years.  Let's recap my 20s, shall we? 

• I graduated from college with some of the best friends and sorority sisters that I could ask for.  I literally couldn't have asked for a more awesome 4 years at Eastern.  It was incredible.  The friends that I made there are my sisters, my best friends, my soul mates - I could not ask for more from them.  The experiences that we had together were/are unforgettable (even the ones that we don't remember).  
• I moved to Seattle.  This was supposed to be a 3-5 year venture.  It's now going on year eight and I can pretty much say that I've made this wet, rainy place my home.  I have made wonderful friends here (Fab 5 + Lisa!) and seriously couldn't imagine a world without them for happy hour, brunch, lunch, cocktails, cocktails, cocktails, and gossip.  
• I fell madly in love.  At 24, I met the love of my young life.  Even though it was touch and go for years (y'all who were around then know exactly what I'm talking about), we pulled through and had the most incredible relationship I could have asked for.  Even though it didn't work out how we all hoped - it doesn't change the fact that Will was the one for me in my 20s.  
• I got engaged.  IN PARIS.  That just doesn't get to happen to everyone.  I'll consider myself lucky for the rest of my life that I got to have that experience.  
• I dealt with earth shattering loss.  And I survived.  Sometimes I don't know how.  But I did.  I kept seeing the quote: 'You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have'.  I don't even know if I can appropriately call me getting through that being strong - I just did what I had to do to survive.  And if I can make it through the loss of my person - I know that I can make it through pretty much anything. 
• I found a new passion in CrossFit.  The loss of Will was soul crushing and CrossFit gave me something to be excited about again.  And now as I coach - I try to share that enthusiasm with our athletes (or annoy the crap out of people who just want me to shut up and let them workout.  It's 50/50 really.).  
• I left my job and ultimately decided to start my own business.  If you can't do this at 29 - when can you do it?  Biggest professional risk I've ever taken.  But I'm happy again.  And I was miserable at my old job.  There is definitely something to be said for being happy and terrified. I'll take it over miserable any day.  

There were a lot of really exciting things about my last decade but I'm excited (albeit terrified) about the next 30 years.  I'm a different person that I was a few years ago - I'm older, stronger, and hopefully wiser   So let's see what's next... 

2014 CrossFit Open: A Recap

Let's talk about the 2014 CrossFit Open.  Now that it's over, I feel like I am much more able to look back at it objectively (as opposed to looking on it with sweltering amounts of hatred).  Let's take a look at each of the individual workouts and how they stacked up: 

14.1 - 10 min AMRAP: 30 Double Unders, 15 Snatches (55lbs)

I did this workout twice officially and once unofficially.  That may have been overkill.  But the first 'unofficial' time was really just to practice and I did it light (at 35lbs).  My first official attempt was terrible.  I probably spent 8 minutes doing double under attempts and I left the gym super irritated by the whole thing.  My third (and final!) attempt was significantly better - a 50 rep improvement and included a new PR of 30 unbroken double unders for me.  Yahoo!  This workout felt like an awesome start to the Open, it was a manageable weight, the movements were tough but doable and it did nothing but raise my level of optimism at this year's Open. (I should have known it would go downhill really fast.)

14.2 - A Terrible Concoction of OH Squats and Chest-to-Bar Pullups

It made me feel better that all but two people competing in the Open at Sound got scores of 10 because chest-to-bars were just not happening.  This workout was awful.  I can't get chest-to-bars and there wasn't really anyone who could even coach me through it.  I'm getting close enough to the bar - I just literally can't touch it.  Which is aggravating... and soul crushing.  This workout was a disappointment because I'm actually really good at overhead squats and I love doing them.  I wish they would have been paired with something else because I think I could have killed it.

14.3 - The Posterior Chain Torture Device of Heavy Deadlifts and Box Jumps

In what may be the most controversial Open announcement EVER - Dave Castro brought us an ascending ladder of deadlifts, where not only did the weight increase, but so did the reps.  CrossFit affiliates were outraged, even going to so far as to publicly announce that they would not be participating in such a terrible workout for their athletes (ironically, some of these gyms also have Regionals level athletes who had to complete the workouts in order to qualify - so I'm not sure how they worked around that.).  I, for one, was PSYCHED about this workout.  I LOVE heavy deadlifts.  I KILL at heavy deadlifts.  BRING ME MY TROPHY!!!!!!!!!!!  Okay... so that may have been a little bit overzealous of me.  I ignored everyone for days who kept telling me how bad it was for me and how much danger I was putting myself in.  Didn't care.  I LOVE DEADLIFTS.  

And then the day came to actually do the workout.  And holy crap - deadlift set #2 at 135lbs suddenly felt way heavier than it should.  And then 20 at 155lbs felt like approximately 1000lbs.  25 at 185lbs?  Barely made it through.  But I did.  And then I could barely walk for three days.  Okay... maybe these arguments denouncing this workout were justified.  

14.4 - The Chipper From Hell

This workout was just as labeled.  The Chipper From HELL.  Okay... it wasn't actually that bad if you like/are good at toes to bar.  Which I'm not.  Let me simply explain the physics of this to you - you have to touch your toes to the bar - above your head.  So when I'm standing - I can grab the bar when my arms are fully extended - that's what?  9 feet??  And I have to get my feet up there?  AT THE SAME TIME!?!?  No.  

This wasn't my proudest workout moment.  It also didn't help that I had gotten home from California two hours before, I was tired, I was hungry, I was cranky and my heart was just a little bit smooshed from everything going on. 

This workout was literally soul-crushing.  

14.5 - Never Ending Burpees and Thrusters

Because who doesn't like doing 20+ minutes of strenuous work under heavy load with no rest time?  Fuck you, Dave Castro.  Seriously.  A descending ladder from 21 of thrusters and bar-facing-burpees?   No.  This workout left good athletes sucking wind and wanting to die.  The great athletes finished like it was a warm up - but the rest of us struggled.  

Okay.  Here is my thought on this.  It seems to me that while Rich Froning and Sam Briggs were done in 8 minutes - the rest of us mortals were still in our sets of 18, 15 or if you were exceptionally lucky, 12, at the 8 minute mark.  But no one, except super star athletes were finished in sub 10.  How exactly is this a test of your fitness?  I seemed more to me to be a test of who doesn't puke.

To Recap: 
I actually really liked the first workout.  It was tough, it was  heavy, it was an overall physical challenge - but it didn't make you want to die at the end.  People could get through it (well... I guess if you had double unders - if not, you were spending 10 very frustrating minutes jump roping).  But the rest of the Open was pretty much awful.

The 2014 Open was soul crushing, body crushing and a killer.  Personally, I don't feel like a whole lot of these workouts were a test of overall fitness - but instead a way to definitely divide the super CrossFit athletes from the normal folks.  I have been lucky enough to have amazing athletes as friends - and they struggled through these workouts.  There was a clear dividing line between the athletes that would be moving forward to regionals and those of us who won't.  

Could I have trained more and done better?  Absolutely.  I'll be the first to admit that.  Honestly, this year's Open couldn't have come at a worse time.  Trying to get Brand M off the ground, dealing with my Grandfather's passing, and all of that - it was just a terrible time for me to try to focus on anything.  

Oh well.  Onto the next.  

Toes in the Sand

This last weekend, I got to spend a much needed weekend in the sun in California.  I've needed a vacation for a while - but more than anything, I've needed some time in the sun.  This winter has been especially rainy and dark and as much as I love Seattle - there is a time when it starts to wear on you.  

I left on Thursday - it couldn't have been more horrible timing with my Grandpa going into the hospital.  I spent a lot of time on the phone with my family trying to decide if I was going to go to Idaho to be with him or keep my vacation plans.  These are, of course, the worst kinds of decisions to have to make as there really is no right choice.  After a conference call with my dad - we decided that I should still go to California.  Although there will some people who would argue that I made the wrong choice - I know that it was the right thing to do for me.  That being said - I probably wasn't the best version of myself on this trip.  

California is where my oldest and longest friend lives.  I have been friends with Diana for as long as I can remember - I literally can't remember a time when we weren't friends.  Her family has been my extended family and I'm glad I got to spend this weekend with them.  They don't care if I'm off my game or a little less social and smiley than normal.  

I headed to California with certain hopes for this trip.  And although I had a blast - it wasn't exactly what I was hoping for.  But... sometimes that's how the chips fall and I'm trying to be okay with it.  While I'm bummed about certain things - I'm thrilled that I got to spend time with Diana and her family, especially while I was going through everything with my own family.  Sometimes, when you can't be with your own family - you get lucky enough to have the next best thing.  

Santa Monica Pier 

At the Getty Villa

Huntington Beach

#letmetakeaselfie

Because wine in the sun is better than wine in the rain.

#letmetakeanotherselfie (but this time I'm wearing a hat) 

The World Is Just A Little Bit Smaller

This weekend, the world lost someone who I was pretty sure was going to live forever, probably out of pure stubbornness and refusal to die.  My Grandpa passed away early on Friday morning.  He was the last of my grandparents still around - and that is inexplicably sad to me.  While I know he'll never get to see some of the awesome things left to come in my life - he was around for some of the cooler things that have happened in the last (almost!) 30 years.  

Grandpa and I have gotten pretty close in the last few years.  We talked every couple of weeks - sometimes longer, sometimes less - but nothing was better than this year when the Seahawks swept the Superbowl.  Grandpa (a lifelong Cowboys fan - even if 'that quarterback ain't worth nothing!') acquiesced that he could go for the Seahawks and even found the perfect hat: 

I didn't even send it to him.  I swear.  

Even though he was totally wrong about the score (31-17 Broncos) - I think we talked four times that week to debate the game and what we thought was going to happen.  

Grandpa had been there for almost every significant moment of my life.  High school graduation, high school sports (he even stood in the stands and yelled 'Run Forrest Run' at me when I did track - because that wasn't horrifying or anything), college graduation.  He made a trip over from Idaho to meet Will when we had our meet the family/engagement dinner.  He instantly liked Will and let me know that it would be acceptable for me to marry him and have him be part of our family.  When Will passed away four months later - Grandpa came to his memorial in MT.  I don't think that he really knew what to say - he just hugged me and then tried to get me to eat.  And eat.  And eat.  I think that's the way that he was able to show me he cared - by feeding me.  After, he called me a couple of times a week, just to check in and make sure I was okay.  I was obviously not okay - but having him call meant a lot.  Probably because I don't think he'd ever called me directly before - ever.  I was actually surprised that he had my number.  We had always talked when I called there - one of those 'check in with your elders' kind of things.  

Dad and I took a quick trip there this summer - I really wanted a chance to see him at home and have always thought that it's important to make the time to see family.  Life can get so hectic and so busy, but as his death has reminded me yet again, you never know when someone isn't going to be there.  I'm really grateful that Dad and I took that trip - not only did we get like 13 hours of daddy/daughter time time in the car (where he realized that I'm slightly less patient in the car than I was at 10 years old and that I will tell him to drive faster) but Grandpa got to show me around the house, show me his shop, and just generally show his granddaughter off to his friends.  All things that I think are more important to grandparents than they would ever admit out loud.  

It had never crossed my mind that my Grandpa wouldn't be there to see me walk down the aisle, or to have kids of my own.  He's been a constant fixture in my life forever - and he taught me how to fish (AKA letting me cast into the branches over and over and over again until he just started giving me the crappy lures because he knew I was just going to lose them anyways), and taught me to shoot (and discovering that although I'm right handed - my left eye is dominant which makes for a complicated aiming situation).  

Thank you Grandpa for the life lessons - especially: 'don't drive drunk', 'Run Forrest Run', and 'Romo sucks'.  You will be missed and loved every day.  

A St. Patty's Day to Remember

Okay... in all fairness.... today isn't actually St. Patrick's Day.  But it was the St. Pattys Day Dash and that's practically the same thing.  We signed up for the 5K a couple of weeks ago and it was finally time to actually do it.  In the pouring rain.  And the cold.  Ugh.  Nothing screams 'Yay! I'm going to run a 5K' like rain and wet.  

Big bow ties?  Winning.  

So... confession time - we didn't actually run.  Except for the last 10 feet over the finish line.  We walked (but at a pretty quick clip!), drank our coffee, chit chatted, and gawked at costumes.  There were a lot of people in tutus.  And let me tell you... tutus droop in the rain.  

Best costume I saw?  Guy in a rainbow tutu and suspenders.  And that's it.  

Biggest perk of the race?  The beer garden.  I mean... do people even run 5Ks for any other reason??  

When there is drinking and revelry - there is also lots of left over plastic keg cups.  Therefore, there is also drunken artistic shenanigans.  

And I shall leave you with this.  Happy St. Patricks Day.  Wear your green tomorrow or I shall pinch you.