Lately, I’ve had several conversations with friends about dating and what we are ‘supposed’ to do. We live in these constraints of when to call, when to text, when to wait, what to say, what not to say. But do these rules really matter? Seriously. Do they?
I’m not sure that they do.
Maybe I’m the wrong person to be questioning these rules, as I’m still very much the most single person alive. So I guess there’s a good chance that I’m doing everything wrong.
I have to wonder – would things be different if we stopped living under this crazy cloak of fear that we are going to mess things up? If we didn’t play these games of ‘I don’t want to seem too eager so I’m going to make them wait for a response’ or if we didn’t feel weird about asking for what we want – would that change things in our favor?
I would love for someone to say what they mean and do what they say. And if this just happens to be a hot dude who drinks whiskey and does CrossFit – even more the better.
I’m pretty sure that I spend way more time that I should being concerned over what someone meant when they responded ‘Cool.’ to a text message. I dwell. I wish I could say that I didn’t – but I do. And honestly, many of my friends do (dudes included). And if we do, it means a lot of people do.
I have to think that some level of dwelling is natural. I have spent the last year dwelling over something that I screwed up with someone who was actually pretty great. See… I don’t just dwell over what other people do and say – I also dwell over the stupid stuff that I do. We all do it – I think it’s just rare that we’ll admit it.
I’m trying to be slightly less obsessive over the crazy unspoken (or spoken in hushed voices) rules that seem to rule the dating world today. And I’d like to exchange these unofficial rules for a couple of official ones.
- Don’t say ‘Drinks definitely’ if you don’t mean ‘Drinks?! Definitely!’
- Never use the words ‘I have quite a lot of board games’.
- The word ‘cool’ and the 'thumbs up' emoji, don’t actually mean anything. Use your words.