Friday, May 10, 2013

Dear Delta... I Hate You

Well... I'm stuck in the Salt Lake City airport.  YEAH!  Okay...  let me preface this by saying that I am ALWAYS stuck in the SLC airport.  Literally every time that I fly thru SLC - I am stuck here.  Last time, they tried to make me stay the night.  On a Sunday.  In Salt Lake City.  Absolutely not.  Thank you Delta Airlines for making yet another trip memorable.  

On the positive side - I've gotten to sit next to a totally delightful woman from Minnesota who talks at approximately 95db with a super awesome northern MN twang (you know exactly what I'm talking about) and so I've heard her entire phone conversations - even through my noise-cancelling headphones. (In case you were confused - I was being sarcastic.  I may need a sarcasm defining font.)  That, my friends, is too loud.  

On another note - a woman at my conference yesterday called me delightful too - and she wasn't being sarcastic.  At least I don't think she was.  Hmm.  Well... I don't think that ever in the entire history of my life has anyone called me delightful. (My boss laughed and said that she has obviously only seen me on good days.  Umm... thank you?)   So... I'm embracing delightful as my new adjective.  If I ever try the dating on the interwebs again - I shall use delightful to describe myself.  Maybe that will get me a boy over 5'8.  It could totally work right?  Guys must dig delightful girls.  

On a completely different note:  some middle-aged drunk guy hit on me in the hotel elevator yesterday.  Well... actually, it was in line for the hotel elevator.  This is how the conversation went: 

Middle-Aged Drunk Guy (MDG): This is a long line for the elevator.  
Me: (Polite smile.)
MDG:  Don't you think this is an abnormally long line for the elevator?
Me:  No... not really.  It's fine.  Busy night
MDG:  I'm Kevin. (Leans in and extends hand.  Can instantly smell Jack Daniels.  Lots of it)
Me:  Hi Kevin.  I'm Danielle.  (Shakes his hand.  Need to get better at coming up with fake name... immediately.)
MDG:  We should go get a drink.  They have good drinks in the bar.  Let's go for a drink.  
Me:  Umm... no... I think I'm going to go to bed.  But thank you. 
MDG:  Are you sure?  I'll buy you a drink.  (Pause)  You look strong.  
Me:  Yeah... I'm sure.  And thank you?       
MDG:  No seriously, you look REALLY strong.  

Elevator doors FINALLY open and I go to the exact opposite side as Kevin.  After he exits, Other Random Dude (ORD) and I have this conversation: 

ORDYou handled that guy quite well. 
Me: (totally awkward feeling)  Thank you?
ORD:  And... you do look strong.  



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