Sometimes People Just Need a High Five

And other times, people need a high five in the face.  

With a chair.  

Today is one of those days.  Actually, it started yesterday with the most ridiculous pet owners that I have ever seen letting their beasties run wild at the park.  I may be a new pet owner, but it doesn't take a genius to figure out that letting your dog run unbridled up another group of dogs could result in some bad behavior and/or a dog fight.  Grace may not be the best behaved dog in the universe (but we are working on it!) - but she knows better than that (AND I know better than that!  Even as a new owner.)  Dogs may be pets, but they are still animals - and their only line of defense is to bite when they feel threatened.  Just because your dog may be fabulous around other dogs, doesn't necessarily mean that mine is.  Argh.  Stupid people. 

The stupidity of people today has ranged from terrible drivers to needing to try four different registers at Nordstrom just to buy lip gloss.  There are days where you are just over people.  Today I've decided that people suck.  

Also - my mother has requested that I spend more time doing blog posts.  I'm apparently failing miserably at this.  Recent update on my life?  Work has been crazy... it's the season of lots of things going on.  I'm just super swamped all day every day.  I've been coaching a lot lately - last week our schedule was all wonky with the absence of one of our coaches.  I have hardly been working out - like we're talking 2-3 days a week instead of my usual 5.  I've had a cold that just won't go away.  I'm just in general totally beat almost all the time. Yesterday was fantastic because I had NOTHING to do.  It was glorious.  I slept in.  I drank coffee and caught up on guilty pleasures on TV.  I took a 2 hour nap at 10am.  I went to Home Depot (I'm such a homeowner!).  I took Grace to play with Dex and Tara.  I relaxed.  I know... what is that like?!?

Oh... and I've been on a couple of dates with a guy and they've gone very well.  Since I'm pretty sure that writing about it on the blog will be the kiss of death - I'll be keeping this under wraps for a while.  Eek.  

The Next Challenge

For the last two months, I've been making goals and working on hitting them in order to be ready for the Beatdown.  Even though I didn't do as well as I was hoping to do, I'm still pretty pleased with my performance.  So what's the next big thing?  Who knows.  And I could really use someone to help me decide - any ideas?

In the meantime, I have signed up for a 5K.  The Mustache Dache to be exact.  Why in the world would I want to do a 5K?  Good freaking question.  I have no idea.  Okay, actually I do have an idea.  Simply just because the theme is mustaches.  There really isn't a better theme than mustaches for a 5K.  I designed awesome mustache themed t shirts, I found press-on mustaches (to which I was quickly shown up by PINK mustaches! Thanks Barb!), and bought sweet stackable mustache wristbands.  So... I guess my next challenge is to run a 5K without passing out or crying.  Since I keep meeting marathon runners lately, I feel like a 5K is a wimpy kind of challenge.  But for me, it's huge.  I'm not entirely sure that I've ever run 3.2 miles without stopping.  Hmmm... (the awesome outfit that I am going to wear is what is keeping me enthusiastic right now.  That and the beer garden at the end.)

CrossFit Girl's Guys Guide to Online Dating

So I know that I have pretty much only unsuccessfully experienced the online dating thing... and there is a good chance that I am doing a lot of things wrong.  That being said: here is a whole slew of things that the boys of the online dating world are doing wrong:

• Profile names. Just wrap this into the whole 'first impression' thing.  I would rather have a screen name that is nonsensical than 'VDSeattle' (I don't care what you meant.  Rewind and think about what it sounds like.)  'LuvBelow' (again.  Don't care what you meant.)  'INeedANewChick' (Don't we all?  Isn't that why we are all online dating? Unless you are into open relationships.  Then you fall into a whole different category.)  'TheEmptyVessel' (I get that this is Seattle and we are all emo and shit - but really?!?!?)  
• We all have guilty pleasures that we watch on tv... but we don't need to list them on our online profiles.  If a dude lists 'The Vampire Diaries' and 'Teen Wolf' as their favorite shows - nope.  Not going to happen.
• Selfies - Part 1.  Okay, we've all done them.  We are all allowed one, maybe two, on our profiles.  If ALL of your pics are selfies - you should probably know two things: #1. I'm assuming you have no friends to take an occasional picture of you.  #2.  I can probably see up your nose.  
• Selfies - Part 2. There is no excuse for ever taking a picture in the mirror while you are flexing.  This is not okay and you are a tool.  It is only okay to take pictures of yourself in the mirror when you need outfit approval from your best friend and then you delete them immediately (not that I have ever done that - I can totally dress myself).  
• Selfies - Part 3.  What is with dudes taking pictures in their cars?!?!  I only do this when I have left the salon and again need best friend approval on my new hair cut/color before anyone else sees me.   But seriously.  Why?  Why are so many selfies taken in cars? Is it the lighting?  Is it the angles?  What? I'm confused and it makes me unbelievably annoyed. 
  
• Outdoor pics.  I appreciate an outdoorsy guy, I really truly do.  But I would love to see that you don't live your life on a mountainside dressed in head-to-toe Patagonia gear.  Would you want  to see all of my pics in head-to-toe Lululemon doing CrossFit?  No. I get that you are active and that's awesome - but what else do you do? You probably don't hike Rainier every weekend (and if you do, I apologize, but you are WAY too outdoorsy for me. Turns out, I'm outdoorsy in that I like drinking on patios.)
• For the love of all things holy, please stop lying about your height.  When you say you are 5'11" and we meet and you are shorter than me - it's not because I spontaneously sprouted three inches.  It's because you are only 5'8.  Just own it.  
• 'Hey gorgeous.  Don't you think we'd make a great looking couple? '.  No 'ChiseledChuck'.  I don't.  

Seriously.

Bacon Beatdown Recap

Hey y'all!  It's finally Bacon Beatdown weekend.  Eek!  I signed up for this in August and October felt like SUPER far away.  Turns out, it came WAY faster than I was expecting.  Here is a rundown of the workouts: 

WOD #1
5 minutes of thruster for total volume
Weight x reps = total score

WOD #2
6 ear-to-ear pullups (I know, WTF are those?!?!)
12 kb swings (36 lbs)
15 goblet squats

WOD #3
9-15-21
Hang cleans (75#)
Burpees (touch hands behind head, jump over bar - because normal burpees are apparently impossible)

WOD #4
1RM of snatch, clean and deadlift

WOD #5
Push-up ladder of deficit pushups and hand stand pushups

WOD #6
60 Double Unders 
50 20# wall balls (20#s?!?!)
40 50# slam balls
30 50# shoulder to shoulder slam balls
20 box jumps w/ 20# wall balls
10 rope scales (monkey style across a rope - ugh)

These workouts are hard.  Totally hard.  And not a fair representation of what was expected based on the 'scaled division' standards. 

A few days ago, I almost walked away from the competition entirely based off of the workouts themselves.  One rep maxes in a competition setting can be scary - it can be exhilarating too - but I know for me, I lose my form and push too far sometimes.  I'm not in tip-top shape right now, my training has been lagging because of my busy schedule.  The workouts totally freaked me out and I'm glad I didn't walk away without even trying - I had a great time hanging out this weekend and meeting lots of CrossFitters from other gyms.  I looked at Tara while 18 lanes of athletes were doing thrusters and dropping the bar left and right and just said "I love this shit!".  I do.  I totally love it.  I love the energy.  I love the sweat.  I love the swearing.  I love going to competitions and watching people push it to the brink.  I love pushing it to the brink.  

But here is the deal.  I know when to stop.  And yesterday, I needed to stop.  My body was done.  This is more than just CrossFit soreness.  I was totally toast.  And my heart wasn't in doing the last two workouts.  When your heart isn't in it, every muscle in your body hurts, and your back is threatening to give up on you - it's time to quit, it's not worth it.

My results for the weekend? 

WOD #1: 41 thrusters = 3075lbs total.  (When you look at it that way, it's super impressive.  I did 3075lbs worth of front squats and push presses.  I am a rockstar.)
WOD #2: 137 reps (or 4 rounds + 5 pullups.  Okay.  I KILLED the ear-to-ear pullups.  Considering a week ago, I was practically in tears because I thought I was going to get exactly zero - I'll totally take 5 rounds of them.)
WOD #3: 7:59. The worst.  I freaking hate burpees.  I was SO SLOW.  
WOD #4:  MY FAVORITE!!!!  PRs for all lifts! YAY!  
Snatch: 95lbs - almost stopped at 90.  Then the teeny tiny little girl behind me hit 95 and I refused to let her beat me.  Take that teeny Canadian girl.  
Clean: 125lbs.  I thought that was a record for my PR.  NOPE!  New PR.  YAY!
Deadlift: 265lbs.  This is a new old PR.  When we retested a few weeks ago, it was 240lb (down from 265lb six months ago.)  

Total place?  28 out of 39 (obviously the two DNFs dropped my ranking - but I'm okay with it - I actually still beat people who finished all events).  My best event was the 1RM event.  My worst?  The burpees.  

Another One Bites The Dust

So... remember the time that my cat got kicked out of the groomer?  Well.  Let's add the dog to the newest list of Molle family beauty school dropouts.  Fail.  Damnit.  She bit the groomer when she tried to cut her nails.  Duh.  I'd bite someone too if they were trying to cut my nails when I didn't want them to.  That's why I take her to the groomer to get it done.  So she doesn't bite me.

In other dog news.... this happened: 

RIP shoe. You were well loved (and very cute).

 But how mad can you be when they look like this? 

Glamor shot. 

Who runs the house?  If you guessed me, you were wrong.  It's her. 

In other other news, I don't have any hot water and can't use any appliances.  Thank you Puget Sound Energy for making this week AWESOME.  Somehow wires got crossed at PSE and my account was never set up.  This is something like how the convo went: 

Me: I talked to you back in August when I moved into my house.  The exact words were 'you are good to go, Ms. Molle.'
PSE: We are showing that we talked to the gentlemen on your account.  Is there a Mr. Barnette on your account? 
Me: Ummm... 
PSE:  We talked to him on blah-blah-blah date and shut off service at your prior address.  
Me:  Ummmm... 
PSE:  But it doesn't look like it was ever transferred to another location.  
Me: Ummmmm... I think there has been confusion.  

After I explain to the customer service rep that there is no way that they spoke to someone who passed away almost two years ago, the obviously flustered man asks me this: 

PSE: Okay Ms. Molle, we've got you all set for your new location.  Would you like to keep Mr. Barnette as an authorized signer?  
Me: Ummmmmm... 

This is my life.  

Fail. Total Fail.

My puppy is regressing.  This is what I came home to today... 

Busted.  This is the shame face.  Bad dog.  Bad bad dog. 

She's been so good lately.  But this is the definition of 'not good'.  She even ate $20.  Not adorable at all. 

Ummm... what else?  I've had just about the most random week so far.  A couple of highlights from the week: 

• I actually had to use the sentence 'If you are going to say 'swingers', please whisper it so the class doesn't hear it.'  
• I got matched with one of my guy friends on my online dating profile.  Nothing is more hilarious and unexpected than opening up your email to a picture of your friends face announcing your daily perfect matches.  Of course we're 96% compatible - that's why we're friends.  

On a CrossFit note: they announced the first two workouts for The Bacon Beatdown.  First off, ear-to-ear pullups are not a real thing and I hate them. It's not pretty when I try to do them.  It's actually really ugly.  I flail.  On the positive side - my mom was super encouraging and told me that doing one was awesome (thanks mom!!!).  Unfortunately, I have to do six before I can move on to the next movement.  And that's only one round.  

WOD #1: 
9 min AMRAP
6 ear-to-ear pullups (eeeeffffffffffffffffffff...)
12 kb swings (Russian, 16kg)
15 goblet squats

Well.  I may get thru one round if I'm lucky.  

WOD #2 was announced tonight and this one I'm actually feeling good about:  

5 mins of thrusters at the weight of your choice: 75/95/125

Score is total volume: reps x weight -- so I've got to figure out what my best strategy is - lower weight, higher reps?  Or higher weight, lower reps??  At least I'm strong.  So... there's that.  

Only 4 more announcements to go.