A CrossFit Newbie's Guide to All Things CrossFit

Or... 'What I Wish People Would Have Told Me When I Started CrossFit'.

I have been doing CrossFit for 471 days (yes.  I know the EXACT date I did my first workout.).  During these 471 days, I have learned a ton about myself, about CrossFit, about people, about life in general.  Let me share some of the more poignant landmarks and things that I wish people would have told me to expect when I first started.  

• Day -31.  A friend is going to tell you that you should do CrossFit.  You are going to laugh and say 'that stuff is nuts.'  But somehow, it sits in the back of your mind and after weeks of ruminating on it, you think, 'what the hell' and sign up for a free trial. 
• Day 1.  You are hooked. It sucks, it hurt and when can you sign up for essentials? 
• Day 2.  You reconsider when you are unable to get out of bed but you've already paid the essentials course fee.  Muscles hurt that you didn't realize you had.  Sitting down and standing up becomes a process. 
• First real class post-essentials.  Terrified.  Absolutely terrified.  These people are strong.  These people are fast.  You go at the pace of snail holding 10 lbs but you do it.  Victory!
• One month into classes.  Everything hurts all the time.  You try to learn everything and struggle at most things.  Why can't you see muscles yet? 
• Three months into classes.  You've lost weight.  You can see muscles.  You give up happy hour, cocktails and cheese because why would you want to to cancel out all that work you just suffered through.  You buy new pants two sizes smaller.  It's glorious.
• Immediately following the purchase of new pants?  First plateau - workout times are fast, like really, really fast.  Body is less sore.  Time to increase weights.  Jump on a higher box.  Attempt double unders.  Basically, time to step it up.  
• First CrossFit Summer.  Friend asks you to go boating.  You have them pick you up at the dock so you can get your workout in first.  Everyone looks at you like you are crazy.  
• Six months in.  Rx your first workout.  You are a rockstar.  You see the CrossFit Games in your future.  
• Six months + one day.  Actually watch a CrossFit Games athlete do a workout.  Brutal realization that you are not as awesome as you think you are.  Also, does that person have a 12 pack???
• Six months + two days.  Up your gym membership to unlimited classes.  12 classes per month is no longer cutting it.  You are determined to be excellent at CrossFit.  Expensive?  Yes.  Worth it?  Absolutely. 
• Nine months.  Sign up for your first competition.  Get killed.  Another brutal realization it's time to step up. Get a gym best friend who pushes you every day. 
• Ten months.  Time for your yearly physical.  Step on the scale and cry.  All the weight you've lost is back.  Wonder how that's possible.  Realize you've lost inches but gained muscle and a CrossFit booty.  Still, ego is bruised from the scale.  Make a promise to yourself to only use the scale when weighing luggage from here forward. The scale is officially the devil.  
• Ten months +.  Realize that you really love this stuff.  Sign up for a Level 1 Certification course.  You are going to be a trainer and you are going to be awesome.  
• First CrossFit Open.  Get schooled every Saturday for five weeks.  DQ on the last WOD because you can't pull your chest to the bar.  Die a little inside. Decide that you will do better next year. 
• Happy One Year Anniversary CrossFit!!!  Take your certification course.  Again realize that you are not awesome and it seems everyone is better at everything than you.  Stand in the middle of the circle of humiliation while demonstrating how NOT to do medicine ball cleans.  Realize you have a million things to learn.  Regardless, pass certification test.  Congrats.  You are a CrossFit coach.  Now panic.
• CrossFit Anniversary + 1 week.  Start CrossFit coaching internship. You may not know everything but you will be the most enthusiastic one there.  You are determined to learn and be awesome. 
• After internship.  Teach your first solo class. Try to keep sounding confident even though you are freaking out.  Go home and cry because you think you'll never be good at this. 
• Continue teaching.  Realize that you are getting better with every class you teach.  Ask questions.  Watch videos.  Learn as much as you can from the other coaches.  Take pieces of their coaching styles and incorporate it into your own.  Before you know it, coaching is coming naturally.  You are having fun and you love it. 
• CrossFit Summer #2. Run a Tough Mudder with friends from the gym.  You won't regret it.  Your body will hurt.  You'll want to cry midway through - then you'll pass groups who started 90 minutes before you and you'll realize that you are doing way more awesome than you think. Three hours later, you'll finish it and have a memory that you'll never forget.  
• 18 months into CrossFit.  You can finally Rx most workouts.  People ask you for help and you actually know how to help them.  You finally feel pretty confident with coaching even though you know there is still a lot to learn.  Expand your friend group at the gym.  Shazam every catchy song you hear and add it to the CrossFit playlist on Spotify. 
• Day 471.  You'll still wake up sore every day.  You want to date someone who gets CrossFit so you don't have to explain to them what Fran is and why you want to do it.  You'll spend more money at Lululemon, Reebok and Rogue than you do at Nordstrom and Target combined.  You'll cry, sweat, and bleed at the gym and love every minute of it.  You will love coaching and seeing people hit their goals and set new PRs.  Set yourself new goals every month.  Set some 'you' time aside.  Find a workout partner who encourages you and will push you to the next level.  Keep working your ass off every day. 
  
  
  

You Know What Happens When You Brag?

You get smacked down with some wicked hand tears.  Yowza.  I make this whole post about 'look at me and my fancy hand care regiment' and then I go and do Fran and BUTCHER THE EVER-LOVING HELL out of my hands. I definitely cried (and swore) a little (okay... a lot) when I washed my hands.  Shit, shit, shit.  Hand tears blow.  I'm not sure what the difference was today... maybe my grip was slightly off, maybe its because I did the whole thing Rx (yup - you got that right - no assistance bands on the pullups.  I am a rockstar.).  Who knows.  Regardless.  Me+hand tears=grumpy pain face.  However, wine+trashy tv=slightly less grumpy (still pain) face.  

Anyways. I'll be totally honest.  My time wasn't fantastic.  9:16.  That's definitely not a stellar Fran time by any stretch (games athletes are sub 4 minutes) but it's the first time that I've done it with no assistance bands for the pull ups. By the way... for those of you who don't speak CrossFit... Fran is reps of 21-15-9 thrusters (65lbs) and pull ups.  And yes... during my set of 9 - I'm pretty much did the pull ups one at a time.  But I did them.  And I did them Rx.  And that for me is HUGE, considering that pull ups have been my major weakness since CrossFit Day 1. 

Yup.

 

15 Things I've Learned Recently

1. The biggest perk of home ownership isn't really equity and owning something.  It's the fact that you never have to deep clean a rental ever again. 
2. Lunges and thrusters will make a three-story townhouse seem like you are doing the Big Climb at the Columbia Tower (for those of you not from Seattle - that's 76 stories as fast as possible). 
3. You know you should work on being more friendly when the neighbor you lived across the street from for almost two years welcomes you to the neighborhood.  Ummm... no, I'm moving out... not in.  
4. I have WAY too many shoes.  I have held on to shoes because no matter how many squats I do - the shoes always fit.
5. I have four pairs of the exact same shoes in different colors - taupe, magenta, black patent and silver sparkles.  Since I hardly ever wear heels, 4 1/2 inch sparkly or hot pink heels are practically out of the question. This may be a bit excessive.

   

   Not pictured?  Taupe.  Sad day for them.

6. I may be a mini-hoarder.  I have SO MANY things.  This is probably only going to get worst now that I've moved into a 'permanent' home.  
7. Hoarding actually runs in my family.  True story.  My dad and I witnessed it firsthand this summer (but that's a story for another day).  
8. I slammed my dog's tail in my car door.  I am the worst pet mama ever.  
9. When you slam your dog's tail in the car door - they get revenge by chewing the face off of one of their toys.  Stuffed animal fluff EVERYWHERE. 
10. Newest obsession?  The Newsroom.  Thank you HBO.  
11. Husky Football?  Awesome.  Went to the home opener last night and it was very cool.  
12. Not so awesome?  Super drunken UW alumni.  At what age are you too old to tailgate all day and arrive at the game a shitfaced mess?  Because I'm not quite 30 and still feel like I'm too old for that nonsense.  
13. Even more awesome than UW football?  EWU football!  Go EAGS!!  We beat Oregon State in our opening game this season... a Big Sky Conference school beating a ranked PAC12 school? We pretty much rock. 
    

    

    Hells yes.

    
    
14.  What happens when everyone at your office is out of town except for you and your IT guy?  These kind of things:

    

    Oh my Godzilla. This is Paige.  She's been one of my best friends since college.  Notice her background involves high powered guns.  Mine involves a messy desk.  This is also our best Miley Cyrus imitation.  You should have seen the twerking video.  Just kidding.  I can't even shimmy. 

15. Always say yes (not like that, you creeps).  I had a great blind date earlier this week.  I should have given a full recap - but let's just summarize it to say: it was fantastic, he seems great, and I'm excited about the idea of a second date.  And I don't want to ruin it by talking about it quite yet. :) 

Goal Update

It's been three weeks since I posted my goals and wanted to give you all an update since I know you've been anxiously waiting.  

Let's review my goals:

• Unassisted pullups. 
• Kipping pullups.  Link 5 together.
• Pushups. Do 15 legit pushups unbroken.
• Burpees.  Do 30 burpees unbroken without whining.
• Work on my rope climbs.
• Double unders. 15 unbroken.  

 Now... here's the update: 

• Unassisted pullups.  NAILED IT!
• Kipping pullups.  NAILED IT!!!
• Pushups. Did 10, had to pause.  Arms were toast.  Getting there. 
• Burpees. Can do the burpees - just can't do them without whining.  Working on it. 
• Work on my rope climbs.  Haven't gotten to this yet - soon!!!
• Double unders. 15 unbroken.  Still the bane of my existence.  Got 10 today with a single skip between.  Apparently I'm regressing instead of moving forward.  Damnit. 

 So... that's the update on the goals.  (It's been a solid six months of work to get one unassisted pullup - I totally deserve a hug.)  I've got 5 1/2 weeks left before the Bacon Beatdown.  The rest of my goals are manageable but it's seriously time to buckle down and get my ass in shape.  Today's workout killed me: 

20 min AMRAP
200m run (ish... not actually sure how far - we use landmarks!)
3 hang power cleans
5 front squats
7 push jerks

I did 10 rounds plus the run at 60lbs and was thrashed.  I need to get back on my regular healthy eating plan - I can definitely feel a difference in my performance with not eating as well as I should.  

Yup.  This is EXACTLY how I felt this morning.

On a completely different and unrelated note:  I have a blind date tonight.  And I am totally psyched about it.  Stay tuned for the results (and cross your fingers that it goes well!). 

The Crossfit Girl's Guide to Hand Care

At my gym, we've recently started a pull-up strength segment - so basically every day, we are working pull-ups, negatives and assistance lifts.  The result?  Stronger strict pull-ups, working our way up to strong and healthy kipping pull ups, AND sore hands.  I have strong hands and mine feel totally thrashed. My forearms are killing.  My calluses are feeling extra special.  So... let's take a second to talk hand care shall we?  

Do not roll your eyes.  We watch what we put into our bodies, we spend ridiculous money on shoes and clothes (or maybe that's just me...hmmm), we get up at the crack of dawn to beat ourselves up - but we can't take a few minutes to make sure that we don't look like this? 

This isn't a good look for anyone.  Exactly how much fun do you think this makes doing anything at the gym?  Or for life in general?  Ouch.  No thank you. 

Yeah... that's what I thought.  Read on people.  

There are a ton of great articles and blogs out there that will go into great detail of what you should/shouldn't do to keep your hands in shape.  I've read a bunch of them - some I agree with, some I think are over the top.  Listen... most of us are doing CrossFit recreationally.  It's our fitness regiment - not our life.  We aren't the Rich Fronings and Annie Thorisdottirs of the world.  We come into the gym for an hour or two at a time, get our butts kicked and leave feeling fantastic.  Don't get me wrong - I am in no way trying to diminish what we do - it's freaking awesome! But a lot of the hand care stuff that you read is WAY over the top for the average athlete.  

I do a lot of CrossFit.  I spend a lot of time hanging from the bar just trying to build up my strength.  Every day when I come into the gym - I try to spend a minute or two either hanging, working on my kipping pullups, or just staring at the bar willing it to come down to my level as my arms can't quite pull me up like they are supposed to.  Since I've been doing CrossFit - I've never had a big callus tear.  I may just be lucky, but I like to think that I actually take pretty good care of my hands.  Here's what works for me: 

1. A pumice stone. Seriously.  Best $1.99 I've ever spent. I keep it in my shower and hit my hands every day.  It takes less than 30 seconds to go over my hands and work down the calluses.  Don't do it too hard - you don't want to take off all your skin (that defeats the purpose). 
2. Lotion.  Between the chalk and the hand washing to get the chalk off and probably all the sweat - my hands get really dry.  Invest in good lotion.  Like the really rich and intensive moisturizing kind.  I have two different kinds that I use: Vitamin E Lotion and Hemp Hand Protector.  Both are from The Body Shop.  Vitamin E lotion is super light but moisturizing (wow, I sound like a commercial).  The Hemp Hand Protector is more oily - so I usually only use it at night or when I'm going to be sitting for a while.  Good lotion will save your hands.  When your hands are super dry, it's much easier to crack the calluses.  Ouch. 
3. A reasonable amount of chalk.  If you need chalk, use it.  But there is no reason to have chalk from your wrist to the tips of your fingers.  Rub it in across the parts of your hand that actually grip the bar.  If you use too much chalk, it's possible that your hands will move too much on the bar - therefore causing more friction and therefore more blisters/rips.  Plus, do you really need to be THAT guy who rechalks every set and literally has white hands?  No.  That's excessive.  No one needs that.  Not even Rich Froning.  

   

   You're welcome. (See... he's totally using an appropriate amount of chalk and he's the fittest man alive. No excuses.)

Before you start investing your money into lifting gloves, Body Glide, and other fancy fixes - give these things a shot.  It could be an easy fix that saves your hands (and your wallet).  By all means, if you are still having problems - there are tons of resources out there for more advanced hand care - and as a coach, I'm always down to help you with whatever you think needs to be taped, chalked, Body Glided, gloved, etc.  

Just make sure you are taking care of yourself.  We need our hands for almost everything - we can't really do anything at the gym if our hands are destroyed.  And on a personal level, who wants to hold hands with someone who has open wounds all over?  No one.  That's who. 

"I'll Liken This To An Overhead Squat"

You know you spend way too much time with Crossfit folks when you go to someone for advice and they start out with 'I'll liken this to an overhead squat."  At that point, you are almost guaranteed to be in for a treat.  In all fairness, I think it was good advice - if I'm actually interpreting it correctly (which is questionable).  Here is the rest of the analogy: "In an overhead squat, you are so uncomfortable that you just want to get out of that position.  However, you haven't broken parallel and need to hold on for just one more inch."  (Well... apparently I'm not the only one who equates things to Crossfit movements.) 

I get what he meant.  I think that people could probably take this about 72 different ways - but it was exactly what I needed to hear today (even though I told him it was the worst advice ever).  Everyone goes through stages that are 'uncomfortable' - I'm totally in one now.  A lot of things that I was used to have changed - my house, my lifestyle, even my couch.  But instead of getting out, I just need to hold it for a bit longer until I nail it.  It's so hard sometimes.  I'm a runner (and wow... I do SO not mean that in the literal way!).  When things get tough, it's easier for me to run away... or ignore it completely.  I rarely tell people how I feel - especially when my feelings are hurt, I'd rather ignore it and let it eat me alive instead of saying it.  I'm working on changing that and meeting things head on - squashing things before they become bigger than I can handle. 

I'm still a work in progress.  I screw up, I say things on impulse, I get my feelings hurt, I cry over stupid things... and I bail out of overhead squats sometimes when it's too much to handle.  What can I say? It happens to the best of us.

On a positive note:  guess who met two of her goals today????  This girl!  Not just one... but TWO unassisted pullups AND, I linked five kipping pull ups together.  Woohoo.  Go me!

Why Everyone Should Love Snatches

Get your mind out of the gutter, people.  That is not what I meant. 

Last night, for the first time in five days, I was able to totally clear my mind and only think about one thing - not dropping a 50lb barbell on top of my head at olympic lifting class.  Snatches are such a mental lift - yes, you have to be strong (or at least being strong helps), but you also have to be able to put the pieces together, not be afraid of the movement (and it's a scary one!), clear your head and just do it.  When you overthink, you miss.  When you don't lift with confidence, you miss.  When you don't listen to your coach, you miss.  You have to clear your head of all the clutter and focus on what you are doing.  I saw a t-shirt last weekend that said 'Shut Up. Just Do You.'  Totally true. Take that, little voices in my head. 

I walked into the gym last night totally wound up. I moved this last weekend into my new house and it was the most stressful move that I've ever had.  Even though I had movers (best decision made and money spent!) and my parents here to help - moving into the house that I own and will be living in for the foreseeable future was 10 times more stressful than moving into any rental I've had. The move itself was easy - it's all the other stuff that comes along with it that was hard.  My dad was on hand to do an entire list of 'daddy-do' items (that's like a honey-do list for those of us who are relationship-challenged) and my mom and I spent most of the weekend visiting every home store in the general Seattle area. (Having jumbo sized furniture worked out to not be as awesome as it could have been when nothing fit up my staircase.  My new living room is officially brought to you by West Elm.)

I just had to be 'on' at all times for the last five days. I spent all afternoon/evening on Thursday getting ready for the move. Movers came first thing on Friday morning. Saturday/Sunday were dedicated to organizing my life.  Monday I had to coach in the am and then work all day.  It was a constant stream of questions and thinking and dealing with things for five days.  Plus, I got no more than five hours of sleep a night for days, dealt with a dog who discovered how to jump the fence, spent more money than I thought possible, and I still can't find half my stuff.  I seriously considered cancelling my workout last night and just sitting at home on the couch and staring blankly at the TV.  I'm so glad that I didn't.  Going into the gym last night gave me a chance to let everything go and seriously clear my head. 

Yes, I missed a lot of lifts last night.  On weights that weren't heavy.  But it happened every time that I let my mind start to wander.  I stopped focusing on my speed and I jumped too high and landed off balance.  I didn't focus on breaking the bar and let my shoulders disengage.  I love snatches because not only do they feel awesome when you do it right, but they force you to engage completely.  To be one with the bar (Yes. I'm totally aware of how dorky that sounds.)  

But seriously. Snatches. Cheaper than therapy.