CrossFit Truths

Lately, I've had several people look at me like I'm nuts when I say that I do CrossFit.  Here are a list of the general 'are you crazy?!' statements that come along with the looks AND my rebuttals: 

"What are you?  Like really strong? "

No.  I am not 'really strong'.  But I am strong.  And I have worked my butt off to get there.  I didn't walk in to the gym on my first day strong.  Yes, some of strength can be contributed to your body build and athleticism - but I've worked hard to increase my one rep maxes and to get 'strong'.  

"Isn't that super expensive?"

 Well.  CrossFit isn't cheap.  I will be the first to admit that.  BUT... here is a list of other things that aren't cheap: yoga, pilates, kickboxing, designer handbags, dinners at Canlis, Lululemon, massages, wine clubs, Louboutins, and trips to Bali.  (Okay, obviously, this isn't an extensive list.)  

I have no idea where this came from - but it was posted on the gym's Facebook page and I love it.  So true.  That being said, don't try to come between me and my fancy handbags. 

"Aren't you afraid you are going to get bulky?"

 Do I look bulky?? (Think before you answer that.)  

Side note: I put on a pair of my super stretchy skinny jeans (some may call them jeggings - but I refuse) this weekend and I looked like the hulk.  My quads have gotten extremely strong looking (but only in one pair of pants).  Yay?

 "Ew.  Don't you sweat a lot?"

Ummm...  Yes.  There is a lot of sweat.  Gross stinky sweat.  In my opinion, a little sweat never hurt anybody.  The benefits of sweat seriously out weigh the downsides (downsides being stinky, damp, hmmm... is there more?? Probably.)  What cracks me up most about this is I've actually had someone ask me this who swears by hot yoga.  

 "Isn't CrossFit like a total cult?"

Yes.  And I drank the kool-aid.  

NO!  We are not like a cult.  Just like being a sorority is not a cult either. Cults are scary things that usually result in a mass murder/suicide (and no, I totally didn't watch a three-hour documentary on cults one time - I'm WAY cooler than that). Okay... if CrossFit IS a cult - it's the kind of cult I want to be involved in: promoting healthy living with a great community of people who support each other?  Sold.  

Side note: Thank you to Jonestown for giving us the ever relevant reference of 'drank the kool-aid'.  Cyanide laced beverages?  Where do I sign up?

"Isn't CrossFit a guy thing?"

No response.  Just no response. 

A CrossFit Newbie's Guide to All Things CrossFit

Or... 'What I Wish People Would Have Told Me When I Started CrossFit'.

I have been doing CrossFit for 471 days (yes.  I know the EXACT date I did my first workout.).  During these 471 days, I have learned a ton about myself, about CrossFit, about people, about life in general.  Let me share some of the more poignant landmarks and things that I wish people would have told me to expect when I first started.  

• Day -31.  A friend is going to tell you that you should do CrossFit.  You are going to laugh and say 'that stuff is nuts.'  But somehow, it sits in the back of your mind and after weeks of ruminating on it, you think, 'what the hell' and sign up for a free trial. 
• Day 1.  You are hooked. It sucks, it hurt and when can you sign up for essentials? 
• Day 2.  You reconsider when you are unable to get out of bed but you've already paid the essentials course fee.  Muscles hurt that you didn't realize you had.  Sitting down and standing up becomes a process. 
• First real class post-essentials.  Terrified.  Absolutely terrified.  These people are strong.  These people are fast.  You go at the pace of snail holding 10 lbs but you do it.  Victory!
• One month into classes.  Everything hurts all the time.  You try to learn everything and struggle at most things.  Why can't you see muscles yet? 
• Three months into classes.  You've lost weight.  You can see muscles.  You give up happy hour, cocktails and cheese because why would you want to to cancel out all that work you just suffered through.  You buy new pants two sizes smaller.  It's glorious.
• Immediately following the purchase of new pants?  First plateau - workout times are fast, like really, really fast.  Body is less sore.  Time to increase weights.  Jump on a higher box.  Attempt double unders.  Basically, time to step it up.  
• First CrossFit Summer.  Friend asks you to go boating.  You have them pick you up at the dock so you can get your workout in first.  Everyone looks at you like you are crazy.  
• Six months in.  Rx your first workout.  You are a rockstar.  You see the CrossFit Games in your future.  
• Six months + one day.  Actually watch a CrossFit Games athlete do a workout.  Brutal realization that you are not as awesome as you think you are.  Also, does that person have a 12 pack???
• Six months + two days.  Up your gym membership to unlimited classes.  12 classes per month is no longer cutting it.  You are determined to be excellent at CrossFit.  Expensive?  Yes.  Worth it?  Absolutely. 
• Nine months.  Sign up for your first competition.  Get killed.  Another brutal realization it's time to step up. Get a gym best friend who pushes you every day. 
• Ten months.  Time for your yearly physical.  Step on the scale and cry.  All the weight you've lost is back.  Wonder how that's possible.  Realize you've lost inches but gained muscle and a CrossFit booty.  Still, ego is bruised from the scale.  Make a promise to yourself to only use the scale when weighing luggage from here forward. The scale is officially the devil.  
• Ten months +.  Realize that you really love this stuff.  Sign up for a Level 1 Certification course.  You are going to be a trainer and you are going to be awesome.  
• First CrossFit Open.  Get schooled every Saturday for five weeks.  DQ on the last WOD because you can't pull your chest to the bar.  Die a little inside. Decide that you will do better next year. 
• Happy One Year Anniversary CrossFit!!!  Take your certification course.  Again realize that you are not awesome and it seems everyone is better at everything than you.  Stand in the middle of the circle of humiliation while demonstrating how NOT to do medicine ball cleans.  Realize you have a million things to learn.  Regardless, pass certification test.  Congrats.  You are a CrossFit coach.  Now panic.
• CrossFit Anniversary + 1 week.  Start CrossFit coaching internship. You may not know everything but you will be the most enthusiastic one there.  You are determined to learn and be awesome. 
• After internship.  Teach your first solo class. Try to keep sounding confident even though you are freaking out.  Go home and cry because you think you'll never be good at this. 
• Continue teaching.  Realize that you are getting better with every class you teach.  Ask questions.  Watch videos.  Learn as much as you can from the other coaches.  Take pieces of their coaching styles and incorporate it into your own.  Before you know it, coaching is coming naturally.  You are having fun and you love it. 
• CrossFit Summer #2. Run a Tough Mudder with friends from the gym.  You won't regret it.  Your body will hurt.  You'll want to cry midway through - then you'll pass groups who started 90 minutes before you and you'll realize that you are doing way more awesome than you think. Three hours later, you'll finish it and have a memory that you'll never forget.  
• 18 months into CrossFit.  You can finally Rx most workouts.  People ask you for help and you actually know how to help them.  You finally feel pretty confident with coaching even though you know there is still a lot to learn.  Expand your friend group at the gym.  Shazam every catchy song you hear and add it to the CrossFit playlist on Spotify. 
• Day 471.  You'll still wake up sore every day.  You want to date someone who gets CrossFit so you don't have to explain to them what Fran is and why you want to do it.  You'll spend more money at Lululemon, Reebok and Rogue than you do at Nordstrom and Target combined.  You'll cry, sweat, and bleed at the gym and love every minute of it.  You will love coaching and seeing people hit their goals and set new PRs.  Set yourself new goals every month.  Set some 'you' time aside.  Find a workout partner who encourages you and will push you to the next level.  Keep working your ass off every day. 
  
  
  

Dear Delta... I Hate You

Well... I'm stuck in the Salt Lake City airport.  YEAH!  Okay...  let me preface this by saying that I am ALWAYS stuck in the SLC airport.  Literally every time that I fly thru SLC - I am stuck here.  Last time, they tried to make me stay the night.  On a Sunday.  In Salt Lake City.  Absolutely not.  Thank you Delta Airlines for making yet another trip memorable.  

On the positive side - I've gotten to sit next to a totally delightful woman from Minnesota who talks at approximately 95db with a super awesome northern MN twang (you know exactly what I'm talking about) and so I've heard her entire phone conversations - even through my noise-cancelling headphones. (In case you were confused - I was being sarcastic.  I may need a sarcasm defining font.)  That, my friends, is too loud.  

On another note - a woman at my conference yesterday called me delightful too - and she wasn't being sarcastic.  At least I don't think she was.  Hmm.  Well... I don't think that ever in the entire history of my life has anyone called me delightful. (My boss laughed and said that she has obviously only seen me on good days.  Umm... thank you?)   So... I'm embracing delightful as my new adjective.  If I ever try the dating on the interwebs again - I shall use delightful to describe myself.  Maybe that will get me a boy over 5'8.  It could totally work right?  Guys must dig delightful girls.  

On a completely different note:  some middle-aged drunk guy hit on me in the hotel elevator yesterday.  Well... actually, it was in line for the hotel elevator.  This is how the conversation went: 

Middle-Aged Drunk Guy (MDG): This is a long line for the elevator.  
Me: (Polite smile.)
MDG:  Don't you think this is an abnormally long line for the elevator?
Me:  No... not really.  It's fine.  Busy night. 
MDG:  I'm Kevin. (Leans in and extends hand.  Can instantly smell Jack Daniels.  Lots of it)
Me:  Hi Kevin.  I'm Danielle.  (Shakes his hand.  Need to get better at coming up with fake name... immediately.)
MDG:  We should go get a drink.  They have good drinks in the bar.  Let's go for a drink.  
Me:  Umm... no... I think I'm going to go to bed.  But thank you. 
MDG:  Are you sure?  I'll buy you a drink.  (Pause)  You look strong.  
Me:  Yeah... I'm sure.  And thank you?       
MDG:  No seriously, you look REALLY strong.  

Elevator doors FINALLY open and I go to the exact opposite side as Kevin.  After he exits, Other Random Dude (ORD) and I have this conversation: 

ORD:  You handled that guy quite well. 
Me: (totally awkward feeling)  Thank you?
ORD:  And... you do look strong.  

Seriously!?!??!  

 
 

Not Even Remotely About CrossFit (okay... maybe just a smidge)

One of my girlfriends asked me recently - why don't I blog more about my dating? Well... let's just do a quick summary of my love life shall we?  

.

Zilch.  

I've got zilch.  

It's not that I don't want to be dating.  I would LOVE to have a fantastic guy around.  But I think I'm taking a break from actively seeking one out on the interwebs.  Online dating is exhausting.  And I'm tired.  All the time.  That's what happens when you have a full time job, are doing a coaching internship AND working out 4-5 days a week.  My house is almost always a disaster, my cats feel neglected and I'm at least three weeks behind on my DVR (that's a lie, I don't have a DVR - but I do have OnDemand).  I don't even have time to see my friends - my best friend lives 30 minutes away and I haven't seen her in at least a month.  I'm a terrible friend.  

The only reason I do hang out with any of my friends now is that they are friends from the gym and we go out after our workout.  And no one cares that I am sweaty and gross looking - because they are also sweaty and gross looking.  No date would appreciate post-WOD Danielle.  This is what I look like: 

Remember this picture? Go me.

Yeah... not pretty.  Not pretty at all. 
 
It's not that I don't want to date.  Dating is awesome.  I love meeting new people. But... getting all cleaned up to go meet a complete stranger that I may or may not hit it off with when I don't even have time to see friends who I love isn't a high priority in my life right now.  

AND -- I'm sick of guys being intimidated by the fact that I do CrossFit.  Yes- I do CrossFit.  Yes- I'm decent at it.  Yes- I'm strong.  If you can't handle the fact that I can probably outlift you - I don't need any part of it.  Maybe I've gotten spoiled by the fact that  I work out with fantastic guys who are super encouraging and want nothing more than for us girls to get one more rep or 5 more lbs.  I would really just love a guy who will totally rock a 'My Girl Is Stronger Than You' shirt.  

I'm actually totally okay with not dating right now.  I'm having a blast just doing me.  I'm busy and enjoying every minute of it (okay... that may be an exaggeration... but I enjoy MOST minutes of it).  So... the summary of my recent dating experiences?  Nada. 

On the positive side:  being single has given me WAY more time to practice cooking.  Here's a quick recipe for best steak rub ever: 

Coffee Spice Rub
2T coffee (I used Seattle's Best #4. I like my coffee darker and thought this had great flavor)
1t Cinnamon
1/2t Smoked Paprika
1/2t Cumin
A pinch of cayenne pepper (just for a little punch)
Salt (I used Himalayn Pink Sea Salt as it is AWESOME.  And pink.)  

Delicious.  Make it ASAP.  Actually, ditch whatever you were planning to make for dinner tonight and make steak.  It's a great plan.