CrossFit Girls Guide to... The Rules for Dating.

Lately, I’ve had several conversations with friends about dating and what we are ‘supposed’ to do.  We live in these constraints of when to call, when to text, when to wait, what to say, what not to say.  But do these rules really matter?  Seriously.  Do they? 

I’m not sure that they do. 

Maybe I’m the wrong person to be questioning these rules, as I’m still very much the most single person alive. So I guess there’s a good chance that I’m doing everything wrong.  

I have to wonder – would things be different if we stopped living under this crazy cloak of fear that we are going to mess things up?  If we didn’t play these games of ‘I don’t want to seem too eager so I’m going to make them wait for a response’ or if we didn’t feel weird about asking for what we want – would that change things in our favor? 

I would love for someone to say what they mean and do what they say.  And if this just happens to be a hot dude who drinks whiskey and does CrossFit – even more the better. 

I’m pretty sure that I spend way more time that I should being concerned over what someone meant when they responded ‘Cool.’ to a text message.  I dwell.  I wish I could say that I didn’t – but I do.  And honestly, many of my friends do (dudes included).  And if we do, it means a lot of people do.

I have to think that some level of dwelling is natural.  I have spent the last year dwelling over something that I screwed up with someone who was actually pretty great.  See… I don’t just dwell over what other people do and say – I also dwell over the stupid stuff that I do.  We all do it – I think it’s just rare that we’ll admit it. 

I’m trying to be slightly less obsessive over the crazy unspoken (or spoken in hushed voices) rules that seem to rule the dating world today.  And I’d like to exchange these unofficial rules for a couple of official ones. 

1. Don’t say ‘Drinks definitely’ if you don’t mean ‘Drinks?! Definitely!’
2. Never use the words ‘I have quite a lot of board games’.
3. The word ‘cool’ and the 'thumbs up' emoji, don’t actually mean anything.  Use your words. 

My Next 30 Years

Today is the last day of my 20s.  Holy crap.  Some things just sneak up on you - and 30 was one of those things.  

There were many things that I thought I'd have figured out by 30.  I thought I'd be married, I thought I'd be well on my way to kids, I thought I'd be well established in my career.  But it's like they say 'Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans'.  Seriously.  Nothing in my life is as I thought it would be on the eve of turning 30.  Even though I'm not where I thought I'd be, it doesn't mean I'm in a bad place.  My 20s included some of the best and worst times of my life, both which will be hard to duplicate in my next 30 years.  Let's recap my 20s, shall we? 

• I graduated from college with some of the best friends and sorority sisters that I could ask for.  I literally couldn't have asked for a more awesome 4 years at Eastern.  It was incredible.  The friends that I made there are my sisters, my best friends, my soul mates - I could not ask for more from them.  The experiences that we had together were/are unforgettable (even the ones that we don't remember).  
• I moved to Seattle.  This was supposed to be a 3-5 year venture.  It's now going on year eight and I can pretty much say that I've made this wet, rainy place my home.  I have made wonderful friends here (Fab 5 + Lisa!) and seriously couldn't imagine a world without them for happy hour, brunch, lunch, cocktails, cocktails, cocktails, and gossip.  
• I fell madly in love.  At 24, I met the love of my young life.  Even though it was touch and go for years (y'all who were around then know exactly what I'm talking about), we pulled through and had the most incredible relationship I could have asked for.  Even though it didn't work out how we all hoped - it doesn't change the fact that Will was the one for me in my 20s.  
• I got engaged.  IN PARIS.  That just doesn't get to happen to everyone.  I'll consider myself lucky for the rest of my life that I got to have that experience.  
• I dealt with earth shattering loss.  And I survived.  Sometimes I don't know how.  But I did.  I kept seeing the quote: 'You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have'.  I don't even know if I can appropriately call me getting through that being strong - I just did what I had to do to survive.  And if I can make it through the loss of my person - I know that I can make it through pretty much anything. 
• I found a new passion in CrossFit.  The loss of Will was soul crushing and CrossFit gave me something to be excited about again.  And now as I coach - I try to share that enthusiasm with our athletes (or annoy the crap out of people who just want me to shut up and let them workout.  It's 50/50 really.).  
• I left my job and ultimately decided to start my own business.  If you can't do this at 29 - when can you do it?  Biggest professional risk I've ever taken.  But I'm happy again.  And I was miserable at my old job.  There is definitely something to be said for being happy and terrified. I'll take it over miserable any day.  

There were a lot of really exciting things about my last decade but I'm excited (albeit terrified) about the next 30 years.  I'm a different person that I was a few years ago - I'm older, stronger, and hopefully wiser   So let's see what's next... 

2014 CrossFit Open: A Recap

Let's talk about the 2014 CrossFit Open.  Now that it's over, I feel like I am much more able to look back at it objectively (as opposed to looking on it with sweltering amounts of hatred).  Let's take a look at each of the individual workouts and how they stacked up: 

14.1 - 10 min AMRAP: 30 Double Unders, 15 Snatches (55lbs)

I did this workout twice officially and once unofficially.  That may have been overkill.  But the first 'unofficial' time was really just to practice and I did it light (at 35lbs).  My first official attempt was terrible.  I probably spent 8 minutes doing double under attempts and I left the gym super irritated by the whole thing.  My third (and final!) attempt was significantly better - a 50 rep improvement and included a new PR of 30 unbroken double unders for me.  Yahoo!  This workout felt like an awesome start to the Open, it was a manageable weight, the movements were tough but doable and it did nothing but raise my level of optimism at this year's Open. (I should have known it would go downhill really fast.)

14.2 - A Terrible Concoction of OH Squats and Chest-to-Bar Pullups

It made me feel better that all but two people competing in the Open at Sound got scores of 10 because chest-to-bars were just not happening.  This workout was awful.  I can't get chest-to-bars and there wasn't really anyone who could even coach me through it.  I'm getting close enough to the bar - I just literally can't touch it.  Which is aggravating... and soul crushing.  This workout was a disappointment because I'm actually really good at overhead squats and I love doing them.  I wish they would have been paired with something else because I think I could have killed it.

14.3 - The Posterior Chain Torture Device of Heavy Deadlifts and Box Jumps

In what may be the most controversial Open announcement EVER - Dave Castro brought us an ascending ladder of deadlifts, where not only did the weight increase, but so did the reps.  CrossFit affiliates were outraged, even going to so far as to publicly announce that they would not be participating in such a terrible workout for their athletes (ironically, some of these gyms also have Regionals level athletes who had to complete the workouts in order to qualify - so I'm not sure how they worked around that.).  I, for one, was PSYCHED about this workout.  I LOVE heavy deadlifts.  I KILL at heavy deadlifts.  BRING ME MY TROPHY!!!!!!!!!!!  Okay... so that may have been a little bit overzealous of me.  I ignored everyone for days who kept telling me how bad it was for me and how much danger I was putting myself in.  Didn't care.  I LOVE DEADLIFTS.  

And then the day came to actually do the workout.  And holy crap - deadlift set #2 at 135lbs suddenly felt way heavier than it should.  And then 20 at 155lbs felt like approximately 1000lbs.  25 at 185lbs?  Barely made it through.  But I did.  And then I could barely walk for three days.  Okay... maybe these arguments denouncing this workout were justified.  

14.4 - The Chipper From Hell

This workout was just as labeled.  The Chipper From HELL.  Okay... it wasn't actually that bad if you like/are good at toes to bar.  Which I'm not.  Let me simply explain the physics of this to you - you have to touch your toes to the bar - above your head.  So when I'm standing - I can grab the bar when my arms are fully extended - that's what?  9 feet??  And I have to get my feet up there?  AT THE SAME TIME!?!?  No.  

This wasn't my proudest workout moment.  It also didn't help that I had gotten home from California two hours before, I was tired, I was hungry, I was cranky and my heart was just a little bit smooshed from everything going on. 

This workout was literally soul-crushing.  

14.5 - Never Ending Burpees and Thrusters

Because who doesn't like doing 20+ minutes of strenuous work under heavy load with no rest time?  Fuck you, Dave Castro.  Seriously.  A descending ladder from 21 of thrusters and bar-facing-burpees?   No.  This workout left good athletes sucking wind and wanting to die.  The great athletes finished like it was a warm up - but the rest of us struggled.  

Okay.  Here is my thought on this.  It seems to me that while Rich Froning and Sam Briggs were done in 8 minutes - the rest of us mortals were still in our sets of 18, 15 or if you were exceptionally lucky, 12, at the 8 minute mark.  But no one, except super star athletes were finished in sub 10.  How exactly is this a test of your fitness?  I seemed more to me to be a test of who doesn't puke.

To Recap: 
I actually really liked the first workout.  It was tough, it was  heavy, it was an overall physical challenge - but it didn't make you want to die at the end.  People could get through it (well... I guess if you had double unders - if not, you were spending 10 very frustrating minutes jump roping).  But the rest of the Open was pretty much awful.

The 2014 Open was soul crushing, body crushing and a killer.  Personally, I don't feel like a whole lot of these workouts were a test of overall fitness - but instead a way to definitely divide the super CrossFit athletes from the normal folks.  I have been lucky enough to have amazing athletes as friends - and they struggled through these workouts.  There was a clear dividing line between the athletes that would be moving forward to regionals and those of us who won't.  

Could I have trained more and done better?  Absolutely.  I'll be the first to admit that.  Honestly, this year's Open couldn't have come at a worse time.  Trying to get Brand M off the ground, dealing with my Grandfather's passing, and all of that - it was just a terrible time for me to try to focus on anything.  

Oh well.  Onto the next.  

Toes in the Sand

This last weekend, I got to spend a much needed weekend in the sun in California.  I've needed a vacation for a while - but more than anything, I've needed some time in the sun.  This winter has been especially rainy and dark and as much as I love Seattle - there is a time when it starts to wear on you.  

I left on Thursday - it couldn't have been more horrible timing with my Grandpa going into the hospital.  I spent a lot of time on the phone with my family trying to decide if I was going to go to Idaho to be with him or keep my vacation plans.  These are, of course, the worst kinds of decisions to have to make as there really is no right choice.  After a conference call with my dad - we decided that I should still go to California.  Although there will some people who would argue that I made the wrong choice - I know that it was the right thing to do for me.  That being said - I probably wasn't the best version of myself on this trip.  

California is where my oldest and longest friend lives.  I have been friends with Diana for as long as I can remember - I literally can't remember a time when we weren't friends.  Her family has been my extended family and I'm glad I got to spend this weekend with them.  They don't care if I'm off my game or a little less social and smiley than normal.  

I headed to California with certain hopes for this trip.  And although I had a blast - it wasn't exactly what I was hoping for.  But... sometimes that's how the chips fall and I'm trying to be okay with it.  While I'm bummed about certain things - I'm thrilled that I got to spend time with Diana and her family, especially while I was going through everything with my own family.  Sometimes, when you can't be with your own family - you get lucky enough to have the next best thing.  

Santa Monica Pier 

At the Getty Villa

Huntington Beach

#letmetakeaselfie

Because wine in the sun is better than wine in the rain.

#letmetakeanotherselfie (but this time I'm wearing a hat) 

The World Is Just A Little Bit Smaller

This weekend, the world lost someone who I was pretty sure was going to live forever, probably out of pure stubbornness and refusal to die.  My Grandpa passed away early on Friday morning.  He was the last of my grandparents still around - and that is inexplicably sad to me.  While I know he'll never get to see some of the awesome things left to come in my life - he was around for some of the cooler things that have happened in the last (almost!) 30 years.  

Grandpa and I have gotten pretty close in the last few years.  We talked every couple of weeks - sometimes longer, sometimes less - but nothing was better than this year when the Seahawks swept the Superbowl.  Grandpa (a lifelong Cowboys fan - even if 'that quarterback ain't worth nothing!') acquiesced that he could go for the Seahawks and even found the perfect hat: 

I didn't even send it to him.  I swear.  

Even though he was totally wrong about the score (31-17 Broncos) - I think we talked four times that week to debate the game and what we thought was going to happen.  

Grandpa had been there for almost every significant moment of my life.  High school graduation, high school sports (he even stood in the stands and yelled 'Run Forrest Run' at me when I did track - because that wasn't horrifying or anything), college graduation.  He made a trip over from Idaho to meet Will when we had our meet the family/engagement dinner.  He instantly liked Will and let me know that it would be acceptable for me to marry him and have him be part of our family.  When Will passed away four months later - Grandpa came to his memorial in MT.  I don't think that he really knew what to say - he just hugged me and then tried to get me to eat.  And eat.  And eat.  I think that's the way that he was able to show me he cared - by feeding me.  After, he called me a couple of times a week, just to check in and make sure I was okay.  I was obviously not okay - but having him call meant a lot.  Probably because I don't think he'd ever called me directly before - ever.  I was actually surprised that he had my number.  We had always talked when I called there - one of those 'check in with your elders' kind of things.  

Dad and I took a quick trip there this summer - I really wanted a chance to see him at home and have always thought that it's important to make the time to see family.  Life can get so hectic and so busy, but as his death has reminded me yet again, you never know when someone isn't going to be there.  I'm really grateful that Dad and I took that trip - not only did we get like 13 hours of daddy/daughter time time in the car (where he realized that I'm slightly less patient in the car than I was at 10 years old and that I will tell him to drive faster) but Grandpa got to show me around the house, show me his shop, and just generally show his granddaughter off to his friends.  All things that I think are more important to grandparents than they would ever admit out loud.  

It had never crossed my mind that my Grandpa wouldn't be there to see me walk down the aisle, or to have kids of my own.  He's been a constant fixture in my life forever - and he taught me how to fish (AKA letting me cast into the branches over and over and over again until he just started giving me the crappy lures because he knew I was just going to lose them anyways), and taught me to shoot (and discovering that although I'm right handed - my left eye is dominant which makes for a complicated aiming situation).  

Thank you Grandpa for the life lessons - especially: 'don't drive drunk', 'Run Forrest Run', and 'Romo sucks'.  You will be missed and loved every day.  

A St. Patty's Day to Remember

Okay... in all fairness.... today isn't actually St. Patrick's Day.  But it was the St. Pattys Day Dash and that's practically the same thing.  We signed up for the 5K a couple of weeks ago and it was finally time to actually do it.  In the pouring rain.  And the cold.  Ugh.  Nothing screams 'Yay! I'm going to run a 5K' like rain and wet.  

Big bow ties?  Winning.  

So... confession time - we didn't actually run.  Except for the last 10 feet over the finish line.  We walked (but at a pretty quick clip!), drank our coffee, chit chatted, and gawked at costumes.  There were a lot of people in tutus.  And let me tell you... tutus droop in the rain.  

Best costume I saw?  Guy in a rainbow tutu and suspenders.  And that's it.  

Biggest perk of the race?  The beer garden.  I mean... do people even run 5Ks for any other reason??  

When there is drinking and revelry - there is also lots of left over plastic keg cups.  Therefore, there is also drunken artistic shenanigans.  

And I shall leave you with this.  Happy St. Patricks Day.  Wear your green tomorrow or I shall pinch you.  

The Truth About Shelter Dogs

We all know that for the last six months, I have been having a bit of a love affair with my dog.  Like the 'who needs a boyfriend when you have a dog' kind of love affair.  I have taken hundreds of pictures of her just being adorable and spent countless hours having doggie play dates, snuggling on the couch and just being ridiculous.  But what most people don't know is that my dog, Grace, is a rescue pit bull.  She's a mix of something else (probably lab) and I could have her DNA tested to see exactly what she is - but for the most part, she's a pit bull.  If you look at picture of an American Staffordshire Terrier - it's my dog.

Look how cute (and how pissed) she is. Go Seahawks!  We all wear jerseys in this house.

I've had a couple of friends lately who are looking to get dogs and I highly recommend for them to get a shelter dog.  I don't have any problem with purebred dogs that you get as puppies - my parents have always had labs and they are amazing, amazing dogs. But for me personally, I'll all about the shelter dogs.

Here are some things you can expect when you bring home a shelter dog: 

• They'll jump all over you when you come home - even if you were only gone for 15 minutes.  Dogs have no sense of time, no way to read a clock and they are just so excited that you came back.  Shelter dogs have a reason to be excited - they were most likely left somewhere and their people never came back.  
• They'll follow you everywhere and be unhappy when left alone.  Probably because they were left alone in their past life most of the time.  
• They won't take treats in a polite fashion - most likely because no one has ever given them treats before.  If they were especially unlucky - they didn't know when their next meal was coming and it will take a while for them to realize that you'll always feed them.
• It may take them a little bit of time to trust you - you don't know what their lives were like before.  Be patient.  It will happen.  
• They will be amazing dogs. Even the 'aggressive' breeds are amazing.  Any dog can be taught to be aggressive but all the pits that I've met are more likely to roll over so you can rub their belly then to growl at you. 
• They'll take over your life.  And your couch.  And your bed.  And you will probably step on one of their bones when you get up at 4:15am.  
• They will love you more than anything else in the world.  Not only are you their person, but they know that you rescued them.  And if you are lucky, they will rescue you too.  

And for the people who didn't want my sweet dog or thought that she wasn't good enough or well-behaved enough or whatever.... thank you. She's a pain in the ass.  She eats my shoes.  She's peed and pooped and thrown up on the carpet.  My cats refuse to come out from under the bed when she's around.  But she also sits at my feet when I work.  She sleeps with her head in my lap.  She licks my face when she wants to get up in the morning.  She knows all my deepest, darkest secrets and I know she won't tell.   

Seriously.  Shelter dogs.  They will love you unconditionally because you are their person. And I am by no means saying that other dogs won't - not at all.  But I just look at the animals in the shelter or in rescues and it breaks my heart.  (And yes... there is a good chance that I've been sitting at home all day feeling crappy and watching a marathon on NatGeoWild that included at least one ASPCA commercial every 30 minutes.)