Monday, October 20, 2014

But First, Coffee...

When I tell people that I coach CrossFit at 5:30 in the morning, I get a whole range of appalled faces staring back at me - generally followed by the 'how do you do that?!' question.  Coffee, people.  So. Much. Coffee.

But lately, when I've been waking up (at 4:30am) - I've been noticing that there are several distinct stages to the wake up process.  

Stage 1)  Denial.  

Is that my alarm clock?!  There is absolutely no way that it is already 4:30.  I just barely fell asleep.  

Stage 2)  Snooze.  

9 minutes more sleep will make my life better.  Just 9 more minutes.  

Stage 1)  Denial.  Round 2.  

Is that my alarm clock?!?!  No way it's been 9 minutes.  

Stage 2)  Snooze.  Round 2.  

9 more minutes.  I just need 9. More. Minutes. 

Stage 3)  Acceptance.  

Okay.  No more snoozing.  Must get up.  But at least there's coffee. 

Stage 4)  Hope.  

Wait.  Maybe class is cancelled.  I should check my email.  Maybe no one is signed up for our most popular class of the day.

Stage 5)  Resignation.  Round 2.  

Of course class isn't cancelled.  Okay.  Time to get up.  Must get coffee.

Stage 6)  Annoyance.

Dog crawls into warm spot in the bed.  I feed you AND pick up your poop - you should at least be up when I am up.

Stage 7)  Anger.  

Where is my sports bra?!  Why do I only have one sock?! Why didn't I get organized last night?! It's so much easier when I'm organized.  It's like I'm new.

Stage 8)  First sip of coffee.  

I officially feel sorry for people who don't drink coffee. This is amazing.

Stage 9)  Ready to roll.  

10 minutes, one cup of coffee, a giant to-go cup and some mascara.  Let's do this.

Stage 10)  Caffeinated enough to annoy the crap out of my athletes.  


That, my friends, is how you get a functional CrossFit coach at 5:30 in the morning.

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Throwback Weekend

This weekend, I went back to Spokane for a quick trip down memory lane.  And by memory lane - I actually mean Cheney/EWU - my alma mater.  Okay, college was probably some of the best four years of my life.  And that doesn't mean that all the awesome stuff that has happened since or before doesn't matter - but I wouldn't trade my years at EWU for anything.  This weekend was so much fun - great time with great friends.  So glad I went.

That being said, this weekend made it grossly apparent that I am now officially an adult and not a 20 year old kid.  This is why:

#1) My appreciation of clean bathrooms.  


Let's actually make this more general.  My appreciation of clean spaces period.  I was in a sorority. Hands down - joining Gamma Phi Beta was one of the best decisions of my life.  But I'll be the first to admit that sorority and fraternity houses aren't always the cleanest places.  This weekend, I definitely had a moment of 'wait... were frat houses always this gross? is this a new thing?'.

Yeah... I'm pretty sure they were always that gross.  I was just impervious to the grime.  And I probably drank enough vodka that I was immune to the germs anyways (shh... don't tell).

#2)  The bar at 11:50pm.  

Okay - lies.

The bar at 9:45pm.

I know that I lost my cool factor like 5 years ago (maybe I never had it? Unsure), but seriously, I'm too old to show up at a bar later than 9:45.  At 9:45 - I'm pretty sure that if I'm not already out, I am probably in my sweat pants.  Old?  Yup.

#3) I actually go to the football game and care about who wins (us, obviously).  

When we were in college, I'm pretty sure that I went to approximately 50% of the games that I tailgated at.  EWU was only mediocre when I was living in Cheney and so, unfortunately, no one really cared.  We were way more concerned with how much beer we could drink (again... shhhh... don't tell!).

EWU games are a totally different beast than they were when I was there.  The tailgate situation is awesome.  The team is AMAZING. It's just so much more fun.

#4)  Day drinking is fun.  Until it's not.  

As an adult, there is a wall that I hit during day drinking. That wall is directly proportionate to the  amount of sleep I get the night before and the amount of food that I have eaten that day.  And for every hour that goes by - you should probably make sure that I have food - I'm like one of those guys in the Snickers commercials.

I officially hit a wall after the game.  And was tired.  And hangry.  And thirsty.  And a little bit car sick.  And therefore SUPER grumpy.

And THAT never happened in college.

Saturday, October 4, 2014

CrossFit Girls Guide to... The Rules for Dating.

Lately, I’ve had several conversations with friends about dating and what we are ‘supposed’ to do.  We live in these constraints of when to call, when to text, when to wait, what to say, what not to say.  But do these rules really matter?  Seriously.  Do they? 

I’m not sure that they do. 

Maybe I’m the wrong person to be questioning these rules, as I’m still very much the most single person alive. So I guess there’s a good chance that I’m doing everything wrong.  

I have to wonder – would things be different if we stopped living under this crazy cloak of fear that we are going to mess things up?  If we didn’t play these games of ‘I don’t want to seem too eager so I’m going to make them wait for a response’ or if we didn’t feel weird about asking for what we want – would that change things in our favor? 

I would love for someone to say what they mean and do what they say.  And if this just happens to be a hot dude who drinks whiskey and does CrossFit – even more the better. 

I’m pretty sure that I spend way more time that I should being concerned over what someone meant when they responded ‘Cool.’ to a text message.  I dwell.  I wish I could say that I didn’t – but I do.  And honestly, many of my friends do (dudes included).  And if we do, it means a lot of people do.

I have to think that some level of dwelling is natural.  I have spent the last year dwelling over something that I screwed up with someone who was actually pretty great.  See… I don’t just dwell over what other people do and say – I also dwell over the stupid stuff that I do.  We all do it – I think it’s just rare that we’ll admit it. 

I’m trying to be slightly less obsessive over the crazy unspoken (or spoken in hushed voices) rules that seem to rule the dating world today.  And I’d like to exchange these unofficial rules for a couple of official ones. 
  1. Don’t say ‘Drinks definitely’ if you don’t mean ‘Drinks?! Definitely!’
  2. Never use the words ‘I have quite a lot of board games’.
  3. The word ‘cool’ and the 'thumbs up' emoji, don’t actually mean anything.  Use your words.